Thursday, May 7, 2009

Still pretty sure it's not for me

Our building recently has started having a few exercise classes available. Since my mom is in town, and can help watch the kids when I go, I signed up for a month to see what I think. The first time I went the class started and I realized I'd mistakenly gone to kickboxing (I was trying to start with something more gentle since I haven't done aerobics since, oh, college??) So after surviving that, last night I tried the yoga class. I have never been a yoga person. I love pilates, but I've never been able to get into the slowness of yoga, and I've just never really done it. I think I tried a class maybe once about ten years ago and, as it all came back to me last night, I seemed to remember then, too thinking the poses were uncomfortable and having a hard time with the serious meditation part of it.

So as I made my way in last night I decided I had to be on the very edge of the group and try to hopefully make myself a little inconspicuous. I ended up next to a guy, who, luckily, looked like he'd never really done yoga before either, so we were both just lame and uncoordinated the whole way through together.

Well, then we come to the relaxation/meditation part at the end. After looking like an idiot doing all the poses, I realized - yeah, I kind of like this part where you just lay on the floor. Well, the instructor (who is some sort of foreign and has a very thick accent and really not very good english) has everyone lay on their backs and relax. She tells us to close our eyes and visualize something that makes us the most happy and to see that picture right inbetween our eyebrows. And even with our eyes closed to turn our eyes in to that picture. Then she says, "Now put your thumb to the roof of your mouth." So I oblige, but I'm thinking, hmm, that's kind of weird but, well the whole thing is kind of weird to me and what the heck do I know about yoga? And of course, I always look at everyone else the whole class to make sure I'm doing things right. So I open my eyes and look at the guy next to me, and sure enough, he also has his thumb in his mouth. But then I look over further and realize - um, how come this guy and I are the only ones in the room just laying on our backs, sucking our thumbs? So I take mine out while I'm still sort of confused looking around but try to just continue whatever we're doing.

About a minute later it dawns on me: oh my gosh, I think she said tongue. That teacher I can't understand for the life of me said "put your tongue to the roof of your mouth, not thumb! I look over at the poor guy next to me who is laying there happily sucking on his thumb in a room full of non thumb-sucking, yoga savvy women. I am busting up. That was both of us a minute ago! I wonder what everyone else was thinking? Thank heavens I had the sense to at least open my eyes and check it out! But now I'm about to burst becasue I am laughing so hard in the middle of a room in complete silence. I have the giggles so so bad, just dying that you can't understand this teacher but why in the world would we have been sucking our thumbs?! So I'm trying so hard to roll on my side so the rest of the people can't see me as tears are just rolling down my eyes... and the more I try to stop the more I'm just laughing and I can't leave because that would be even more noisy and disruptive right in the middle of meditation. So I'll think I'm getting myself under control, but then I can't help glance over at the guy still with his thumb in his mouth and the whole thing starts over again! Just then the teacher came over to put some meditation potion on my head and neck or whatever, so I really had to try hard to pull it together and hope she thought the tears were emotion from the spiritual connection I was having with my being....

Oh man. See? I never really thought yoga was for me. And if you haven't done it, you really should take it from someone who speaks english.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

And the written description is just as hilarious, full of great, good laughs, as when she came home from yoga and first told Ryan and then me.
I feel sorry for the man still in the dark, though.

xoxocyhunsaker

liz said...

omigosh that is hilarious. I was laughing so hard at this story!

I agree, I also prefer something with more action. I went to one class and kept waiting for the pace to pick up or for it to feel hard. I was so bored and I felt dumb and the whole time I was trying so hard to make sure I didn't rip one with all those crazy bending over positions. And I would push away my smirking at the idea of how funny it would be to rip one super loud with all the serious die-hards concentrating.

Tyler Jorgenson said...

hilarious!

H. said...

I was seriously laughing out loud so hard as I envisioned that poor guy obliviously sucking his thumb in the middle of the class!! Great story telling!

Anonymous said...

Ahaahahaha!

I was trying not to laugh out loud since it's just me and one other person in my lab today, but MAN that's funny!

I can just picture two grown adults sucking their thumbs in yoga class and it makes me bust up all over again.

Thx for the laugh.

Katya

Heather said...

Jen,
You just made my day. I can picture you thumb in mouth, eyes darting around thinking, "Is this really right?" I love it. At least you figured it out. English? Good luck!

Hope to see you soon! Did your mom call Sharon?

Angela said...

This story makes me happy. And I like Liz's comment about positions that make you rip one, because one time when I was in a yoga class, this really weird, possibly somewhat socially inept gentleman next to me totally let one fly. Totally obvious, no way to cover it up. Everyone pretended it didn't happen. THAT was a time I was sweating some serious bullets in efforts to not bust up laughing. This same gentleman also hangs out sitting on a machine right outside the window into the class and watches all the girls while they work out. Just stares. For the whole hour. Yikes. Also he had really gross feet.

Sharon said...

That made me laugh so hard I had tears rolling!!

Andrew said...

That's funny.

Tyler said...

That is so funny I had tears in my eyes from laughing picturing you and this guy. Thanks for the laugh!

Julie said...

Funny! I'm glad you are getting to try a few extra things while mom is there! I was waiting for you to say you'd fallen in love with yoga! Thumb in your mouth even better!

Susie said...

I love yoga for the stretching aspects. I've never had a class, just books and a friend. I know it makes me feel better! I have my favorite poses. . . never been much good at the meditation or breathing aspects, however, I just read an article on the benefits of Yoga, including meditation and breathing, on depression. It sounded interesting and surprisingly hopeful.

LuAnn said...

You are too funny. Thanks for the entertainment.

Melanie said...

I do yoga at my gym and am totally sore after! I know Im getting a work out. Im always so afraid Im going to fart. Maybe that's why I get such a great work out - my muscles are so tense with anticipation trying to prevent and embarrassment.