I'm Yours

This is Cash's favorite song. He plays it over and over again. (You can hear him as soon as it's over saying, "Let's sing I'm Yours again.") I love watching his cute little body try to figure out how to groove!!




And it just melts my heart when he points at me!

This motherhood business is really wearing on me.

I'm not sure what to think about this past week. From the twins toilet papering the house, to attempted potty training, to giving up said potty training, to spending hours on the computer trying to figure out how to get home for Christmas, to utter meltdowns and naughty children, to feeling like my husband and I are just two people who pass each other as one comes in the house and the other leaves....it's been a little exhausting. (It crossed my mind to say that my husband and I are just two people who sleep next to each other for the few hours that our unconscious time overlaps, but then realized that Ryan's even been getting the boot from the bed for all his tossing and turning this week. Hmm.)



Here's our potty party for the drink and pee doll when he was successfully potty trained. Yeah, too bad we didn't make it that far for Cash. He peed in the toilet twice over the space of a few days and otherwise just held it all day until we put a diaper on him at night. We happened to visit the pediatrician this week and she said to go cold turkey and just do the underwear. We tried that, and it ensued in a whole day of sobbing to just wear a diaper. Then we went with her other piece of advice which was if he's holding it until he has a diaper on, he may just not be emotionally ready. And we went back to diapers. I didn't want to traumatize the kid, and I was thinking he may be embarrassed from the few accidents he had and I guess we'll just re-visit this later. I was a little surprised when she said he may not be ready, since he's almost 3 1/2 and is pretty much the last kid his age I know in diapers, but whatever. It doesn't bother me to have him in diapers. Then I can change him at my convenience, not his. :) And it's not like it gets me out of the diaper stage anyway.

The twins are naughty as usual, bucking around and screaming so I can't get them strapped in their car seats, going limp when I try to pick them up when they're refusing to come in the house and would rather stay out in the parking lot or in the hallway, refusing to hold my hand, running off when we're out, climbing up on everything, and little daredevil Phoenix attempting all the stuff that's meant for like 8 year olds on the playground. And still being cute when they're not naughty. Good thing.

And then this morning Cash had a total and complete meltdown when I cut his hair. Ridiculous. He asked for me to cut his hair when he saw me cutting the twins, so I thought great, he really needs a haircut. Then when he saw his hair going in the garbage, he went totally ballistic screaming at me to put it back on. I tried reminding him how we just talked in family home evening about how our bodies grow and we have to cut things like our fingernails and hair because they get too long and then they grow again. Trying to be reasonable was totally not working, so finally I thought maybe I should just humor him and pretend to put his hair back on. Nothing else was abating him, so I tried it. It didn't work. He laid down on the floor kicking and screaming, totally freaking out. He kept yelling about the hair in the garbage, which I had actually buried under everything in there, so I went and showed it to him - that there was no hair in there and then the tantrum turned to freaking out for the next 30 minutes about the "missing hair ... wahhhhhh ..... waaaaaahhhh .... sob ... sob ... sob ... scream!!!!" Oh my goodness. Did I know motherhood was going to involve such bizarre episodes?

To end on a positive note, I finally got us tickets home for Christmas! I was soooo sad thinking we wouldn't be able to go this last year - last because after this we'll have to buy 5 tickets instead of just 3 with two lap-riders so we probably won't go. But I've looked every day since June and tickets have been $600+ each. But thanks to talking our manny (just kidding, the friend of mine that babysat our kids) into taking a lap-rider on his way back from Utah (he's going home for the holidays too and his dates were much less expensive than when Ryan has to come home) and using two different sets of miles - I made it work!!! (And I made sure he knew it would be the worst flight of his life.) So since I'm feeling rather festive now, here's the past week's fashion show to ring in the season:


























Who would have thought last season when I bought size three jammies that the twins would be wearing them this year!?
























And wow, check out the snug-ness of these size 2T's! That's some serious chub-cling!
























And now I will go attend to the three children that have been shrieking at my feet for 15 minutes while I tried to do just one little post at what I thought was the end of their naptime. And I will try not to think about the fact that Ryan is working late tonight and so I will have to deal with these bundles of joy all by myself all day today. And the M&Ms are gone. And I'm still in my pajamas.

The end.

Oh, Cash.

We have Cash in this little exercise class with a friend of his. Each week they learn a few basics of a different sport or skill like jump-roping, tennis and even lacrosse (with tiny little lacrosse sticks). Here's a little gem I happened to catch during the volleyball week. Perhaps it will be a little self-explanatory as to why we have him in a class like this.




(Sorry, any poor footage was from me laughing so hard. In case you can't tell from the video - he closes his eyes and flinches every time the ball comes near him!) I know, maybe people will say not every kid is into sports, but well, as Ryan put it when he first saw the video, "Yeah, that's the kind of kid that gets nailed in dodge ball."

Cherubs

Well, where else can your kids run around as half-naked little cherubs on Halloween but Miami? They have the perfect curls, the perfect chub, (they didn't act like the perfect angels, but whatever), 90 degrees, and there you have it. (And I sort of learned my lesson after everyone was sweating to death last year in their costumes.)

And of course our little cowboy.

























Here with his preschool teacher.





















Even though he chose his own costume, he is, as ever, a most unwilling subject as you can see and spent most of the day riding around like this in revolt.






















Luckily he cheered up a bit Halloween night.

Checking out their costumes.


We went to the ward trunk or treat party where the twins were screaming rotten for the first hour.


They perked up a bit when we went outside to trick-or-treat, but were pretty skeptical of the whole candy business. They only lasted a couple of cars on that,





















































until they found the car with the glowing pumpkins and then stayed there the rest of the night.

Not a great video but I had a hard time getting a good still shot, and those glowing pumpkins saved Halloween from being an utter screaming and miserable mess.










Keeping their angelic chub up with a mouth full of candy.

























I'll be honest, Halloween is not my favorite holiday. I find it stressful and seem to notice a pattern emerging from this of stress-induced marital arguments trying to get everyone ready and out the door and remembering all our stuff resulting us being being in a bad mood most of the evening. I'm just glad it's over and now we can get on with the real holidays. Like my birthday. :) Oh yeah, and Thanksgiving and Christmas too.



Thankfully at least the pictures will make my memories brighter, huh?

SAN FRANCISCO!!

I'm sweating again. If there was one thing that trip to San Francisco did for me it may have been to renew my desire to get out of Miami sooner than later. :) We could not have had better weather there. Perfectly sunny every day, 60s, maybe 70s, a slightly cool breeze - just enough to keep you comfortable really. Perfect weather for wearing jeans, a few layers, scarves, boots - all my favorite things. I think my eventual residence may have more to do with the fashion it allows than anything else. I will say this - I detest hot weather clothes. Being modest and all, there's only so much you can take off, you will still be sweating, and you won't look nearly as chic in your capris and t-shirt as those wearing less than you.

ANYHOW. Was the trip fabulous? Absolutely. Did I miss my kids? Well, I did have a real maternal instinct kick in on the plane ride there when I heard a child start crying halfway through - just a sad, I'm confused cry, but really, it sort of made me almost cry myself. I got over it though. :) Did the kids make out fine with the babysitters? Apparently. Phoenix even wanted to go back to James when I tried to hold him when I got home! And the pregnant lady didn't go into labor, so I guess that's a success. Did I absolutely love San Francisco? Yes! Did I pretend like I was a doctor to get in for free food? Yes. Did I even carry presentation posters across the country to be part of the group? Yes. Did I forget them and leave them stranded in the airport multiple times? Oops, yes. Was it so awesome to not dress like a mom for a week? YES. Did people not recognize me because of it? Also yes. Did I remember that Ryan and I have a really good time together when we're not stressed out and bossing each other around about taking care of the kids? Yes! Did we party like rock stars until wee hours of the morning? You bet. (Ok, like rock stars for us, but we still crashed before the other 99% of the people we were with. But cut us some slack, we're not used to this lifestyle.) Did I shop for 8 hours straight? Yes. I mean, yes.

Did I get a little sick of standing around in heels for hours on end socializing over cocktails? Yes. (Drunk people must have some real stamina.)

So yeah, it was a great time. In my pretend doctoring I even sat in on a few presentations at the conference. Day one: cosmetics stuff, lasers, before and after pictures, that kind of stuff. Cool. Day two: bloody eye sockets and disengaged eyeballs - um, yeah, I didn't really sign up for this. I better go shopping.

Ryan presenting his poster at the conference:














China town


















Golden Gate Bridge. Really cool to see the fog rolling in over it.





























Justin (a.k.a., Roomie) after running across the bridge:


















Pier 39:
































The boys eating crab. (Too much work for me, just get me to Ghiradelli already so I can get some chocolate.)


















In the hotel getting ready to go out:

















Chillin' in the hotel room after yet another high-heeled episode:






















Got to go to the Oakland temple with some cousins:




























Saw South Pacific with my aunt and uncle:




(Also went to dinner with some other cousins but forgot to take pictures.)










The program also sent us to this crazy, over-the-top, cabaret-style show called Beach Blanket Babylon with these wild hats and costumes and performers poking fun at everyone in politics and show biz. It was a bit crazy, but had some really funny moments. My personal favorite was Madonna - over 50 years old with her perfectly sculpted face and body set to the song "Defying Gravity" from the musical Wicked. It was hilarious.






(Picture from their website.)

Check out the art on the walls in this lounge we went to:



So cool. You'd be looking at this picture on the wall and then you'd see the person blink or shift subtly. I loved it.

Took a cable car:





















Stopped at Lombard Street:






















And I finally got to indulge in an enormous sundae from Ghiradelli. (Not photographed - like I would take the time to take a picture while Ryan is busy eating it all!)

And my renewed energy-for-my-kids! even lasted a whole day after I got home.

Actually, that reminds me of the only negative thing - when other people take care of my kids and get along so well! This happened when my cousins watched them a couple months ago too for an over-nighter. I come back to a clean house, happy kids, and an "everything was great!" Really? It wasn't even a little hard? Come on, you at least lost your patience a couple times, right? The house didn't look like this 10 minutes ago and you were in a total state of frenzy? And at some point one was bleeding, one was screaming and the other one was breaking something, right? Wow. I either have really good babysitters or I'm kind of bad at this! :)

Anyway, it was awesome. I'm definitely in for Chicago next year!

Friends with skills

My friend Megan came over yesterday and showed a group of us how to make fondant and work with it. It was so fun. It was marshmallow fondant so it actually even tasted pretty good, unlike regular fondant. It felt really nice to focus on some creativity - like I could actually feel the rusty wheels in my brain turning. Although I was thinking that it wasn't too hard and seemed pretty manageable, I realized it took me a few hours to make like 10 cookies! It was the creative process that was the holdup I think. And screaming kids. But anyhow, wouldn't a plate of these make you happy?!

One Step Behind

Today is just one of those days where I seem to be about one step behind those stinking twins. I go to the bathroom to come out to a floor covered in oatmeal topped with crushed graham crackers. (I hate cleaning oatmeal off the floor, by the way, it just smears everywhere). I don't know what it is, but from the time Ashton decides he's "all done" I have about .5 seconds to grab his bowl or it is all over the floor. I usually watch in agony from about 3 feet away as a bowl of cereal goes down and splatters over a 6 foot radius. And once he does it Phoenix always follows. Anyhow, while I was cleaning up that mess, they managed to dump milk all over the elliptical. While I was cleaning that up, they both got up on the kitchen table and started throwing everything they could find off. While I was cleaning that up, they got in our closet, left a mess shoes all over the house, unplugged everything in the house and managed to get wedged stuck in the closet. While I was taking care of that mess, they found the diaper bag on the counter and somehow pulled it down, throwing out a trail of contents as they dragged it to a hidden spot where they were found pulling apart every single item in my wallet. All this time I was trying to get us ready to go to playgroup. I finally just start yelling at everyone to get out of the house and into the hallway while I try to pull whatever remaining things I need together so we can leave when two kids come up poopy. Ugh. And interspersed between all these events is incessant crying as at least everyone manages to fall or get hurt more than once and needs consoling. (As if I had any sympathy for any of them.) So we finally made it to playgroup. Just as everyone else was leaving.

California, here I come

In just over a week I will find myself in San Francisco. I haven't thought about this trip much. I haven't planned any itineraries. All I know is Ryan has a conference, I am tagging along, sleeping in a hotel with him and another single dude (yeah, nice), and I will have no children for a whole five days. And I won't really worry about them. I don't seem to have a hard time enjoying myself when I'm away from them and I seldom even think about them. I probably should however, seeing that I'm leaving a pregnant woman with 4 little boys to take care of for most of the time (her little boy plus mine), and the rest of the time I am leaving them with a single 31 year-old bachelor. Hmm.

A few months ago because of facebook, I realized a guy that went to jr. high and high school lived only minutes from me here in Miami. We hung out with him and his girlfriend. He comes and gets haircuts. He comes over to hang out when the missionaries invite themselves over. He and his girlfriend also made the mistake of saying, "We would totally watch your kids for you if you ever need it!" I don't know how serious they were, but well, those are the kind of golden phrases I hang on to. So I took them up on that and asked if they could watch the babies for the weekend while we're in SF. They agreed. Then they broke up. James is coming alone. Bless his heart is about all I can think of to say. :) But he says he's the oldest of 7 and he can handle taking care of kids. We sure hope so. And he's said that he has also had numerous offers for help as of late. I tell him to take them up on it. I tell our single neighbor all the time that he should just go take the twins for a walk down on South Beach- he'd have no lack of attention. And when the girls come doting he just mentions how he's babysitting, and bam - suddenly he's single and super sweet.

Anyhow, over the last week there are two reasons that I realize I am most excited about this trip:
1. THE WEATHER!!! I am sure there are some of you out there wearing jeans. I am not. I actually even tried one evening last week and was brutally mocked by the weather for my attempt. It is this time of year that I start to die. It should be getting cool. I should have stopped sweating. I should be enjoying a change of wardrobe. But I'm not. Instead we have been in the 90s all of October, and yesterday my cousins even saw something that said it was 91 or 93 degrees or something but felt like 108. UGH. So on this trip I will wear jeans. I will wear a jacket. I will probably be a huge Miami wuss and complain about how cold it is. I will love every minute of it.

2. I will not have to lift any babies for a whole 5 days! This may not be something any of you think about, but my back is awful lately and I cringe even thinking about going anywhere with my kids. 100 lbs into the stroller. 100 lbs out of the stroller. 100 lbs into the car. 100 lbs out of the car. 100 lbs getting picked up for diaper changes, into the high chairs, into cribs... you get the idea. It's killing me. I don't think people understand the pang of jealousy I feel when I lift up their lightweight children and am in shock at how light they are. Mine are dense little bundles of dead weight. I've told Ryan that if we have kids again, I will be praying for skinny children.

So now I need to start thinking of things I want to do there to entertain myself while Ryan is in conferences. I have family there I'd like to see, and I'm just so excited because I haven't been to San Francisco since I was young. If anyone I know happens to be in that area in just over a week - let me know!

We're getting a temple!!

This weekend is general conference in our church where the Prophet and the Apostles speak. Well, score for Ryan - he hooked up our computer so we could watch it on our tv. It makes me feel so at home since it's broadcast on all the television stations in Utah. But since we've moved, for the last 5 years we've had to watch it over the internet, and let me tell you that all 5 of us in our bedroom in front of the computer for 4 two-hour sessions of conference over one weekend is miserable. So even though he was threatened within inches of his life if he didn't make it happen, he did. (Although there were some precarious moments like him canceling our high-speed cable internet RIGHT before conference and getting us just a step up from dial up. You bet I called and changed that pretty quickly.)

BUT - today in conference they announced we're getting a temple in Ft. Lauderdale! Currently the closest temple is in Orlando, which is a 4 hour drive, and makes for a really long day if you're there and back in a day, and a whole day of someone babysitting your kids, unless you drag them on the drive with you. So a mere 30 minutes to Ft. Lauderdale is a true answer to prayer. We have been praying so hard for a temple to serve south Florida and it's so exciting for us to have that answered. Temples are sort of at the height of Mormon worship where we learn about God and His plan, and are bound together as families for eternity. Ryan and I were married in the Salt Lake temple (pictured). The videos below explain more. We feel so blessed!

Mormon Messages: The Blessings of the Temple