We've worn you faithfully for three and a half months. You smell like death. You made Ashton's head smell like death, no matter how much we washed it. You ensured ridiculous comments would come from small children and retired people everywhere. "What's wrong with him?" "What happened to his head?" (kids). And the old-timers: "Wow, you must be a real trouble-maker for them to put you in that contraption!" "What - you been riding motorcycles?" "That must have been some accident!" And then when I would say that it was to help round out his head, that it was a little flat on one side, the old folks would usually shake their heads in disgust, like I was suddenly and unmistakably the most vain mother in the world. "What?! The things they do these days to make you boys look pretty..."
And we certainly didn't go through what some people do for these - some people in the office we went to come from South America or the Bahamas to get helmets and then have to fly back here every two weeks to get their helmets adjusted. Really, I wasn't that die-hard about it.
At least Ashton didn't seem to mind. In fact, I'm not even sure he ever knew he even wore a helmet. But it seems like it worked pretty well (and he was never that bad to begin with). After our last appointment, they let us keep the helmet. For...??? Posterity's sake? A funny dress-up for the other kids? Re-sell them on ebay? (Too bad they don't work that way, or I might be tempted by the $3600 price tag. Good thing our insurance covered it.) I'm not sure what sort of sentimental value people have for these things, or what they do with them when they're through with them, but I'm pretty sure this bad boy is headed straight for the garbage. When we first got it, they told us that really, there was no way to avoid it getting stinky. Can you imagine if it was the dead of summer when we had it??
Pretty soon I won't know what to do with all my spare time - physical therapy is coming to an end too. I'm not quite sure how to break the news to Cash, but wow - between that and the helmet checks, think of how much less guilt I will feel about never being on time to so many different appointments.
At least I can snuggle and kiss your cute little head again, Ashton! That will be a nice treat after repeatedly going in for a love and being deceived by that potent little piece of plastic.