Friday, January 16, 2009

I should have known it would be a bad day...

...When the airport trip started like this:

Curb check-in man
: "Your bags are overweight."
Me: "Um, about 5 lbs right? I mean, is that a huge issue?" (Trying to bat my eyes. Trying a sweet voice. Seeing this isn't working. )
Man: "Yes. Delta is very strict on this."
Me: "Really, there's no leeway, huh?" (Trying to woefully discuss this dilemma with my mom. Trying to start looking weepy and like I might have a nervous breakdown in front of this man. Doesn't seem to be working. I swear this stuff used to work when I was single!)
Man: "No."

Me: "Ok, ok. So what's the fee for overweight baggage?"
Man: "$90 a bag."
Me, choking: "WHAT?? Did you say $90 a bag? And I have two bags? It's only $25 to even check a second suitcase in the first place. For that price you would rather have me bring on seven extra suitcases????

Dang! And we had thought we would curb check to save time and effort of dragging all our bags/babies into the terminal, but now we were just stuck in the freezing cold, our ride had left and I had to figure out where to put 11lbs of stuff. And here I was having to open up my gigantic suitcase with underwear and who knows what spilling out all over the curb (come to think of it, there really was some weird stuff in there - fake hair, maxi pads...). Luckily I found a random plastic bag and had to fill it up with junk, pound by pound. Cash was screaming and wanted to be held. The babies were cold. I was about to start producing real tears. I think he finally got sick of standing there watching me and suggesting items I could take out and let me get away with an extra 2 lbs.

Then the whole public bathroom issue. I guess most of you have older kids so this is old news to you. But yeah, I guess you don't take your toddler into the bathroom with you when you really have to go, if you know what I mean. Cash wouldn't go in the small stalls with me. So I figured we'd go in the handicapped stall. Didn't really realize that that would mean door opens out. Should have thought of that. Didn't. Didn't realize Cash's only entertainment in said stall would be playing with the lock. Should have thought of that. Didn't. Should have realized the lock would be just out of my reach in the big stall and that I would be left exposed in a super compromising position and would have to hop out crouched over in the fig leaf position to try to grab the door multiple times. Yeah, didn't. Had to attempt to keep one cheek on the toilet and one hand on the lock. And still relax enough to get the deed done. Finally had to end up with a tantrum-throwing toddler on my lap while I attempted to go. Guess I'm forewarned for next time.

Then we finally had a break! The flight was quite open so we had a whole row to ourselves! "Great!" I say to the stewardess, "So can I take their car seats on?" "No." "Why not? Last time we had a flight like this the agent suggested that I do that." "Nope." Ugh. That was my only real hope for getting them to sleep - just like a car ride, right? So of course, not one of my three children slept for even one second of the 5-hour late-evening flight. We were all disasters by the end. At one point I was even in the back getting water from the attendants and just as I was trying to dump in the formula we hit major turbulence. It was a mess. Really, the whole thing was unpleasant at best.

Not to mention how late it was when we got home, and how messed up the kids were. They kept waking up every 20 minutes until about 3am. And I had this plan that we were going to "forget" Cash's pacifier at grandma's house. Yeah, at 3am after enough screaming you wonder what the heck you were thinking and give the kid his dang pacifier. I'm done with resolving to do something that will make my life harder. I'll get rid of it when he gives up his nap. We'll both be miserable then anyway.

But as some of you reminded me: at least the flight ordeal was only one day of my life.

And so now we're back to normal. ish. Grandma is here and my life is soooo much less stressful that way. And Cash got to go back to his beloved therapy. Apparently our kids are the poster children for being "special." You can check out their website here. They're also going to be on their brochure. Isn't that, um, great?

17 comments:

liz said...

you crack me up- every bathroom situation with zane in his entire life involving me is begging (half trying not to swear between clenched teeth) for him to leave the friggin door LOCKED and stop touching it and for him to get out of the nasy tampon trash can that he thinks is this secret jackpot of fun.

Jess said...

Sophie has found the locks on the bathroom doors. ARGH!
We didn't get rid of the pacifier until last summer, mostly because the baby didn't take one and it looked weird for the older sister to still have one and the baby not using one. She still asks for it sometimes :(

Goeb Life said...

Jen,

Sam and I are taking the kids to FL next month. The flight is only 3 hours or so and there is 2:2 ratio. Still, I am scared out of my mind. For about 1 second I contemplated staying longer than Sam could so I could spend more time with family, but then I quickly reconsidered. Those who don't complain about traveling with kids I think are the ones that need therapy. Either their kids have zero personality and are always well behaved, or their parents are probably too drugged up to notice what is going on around them. EIther way it is not good. Thanks for always keeping it real and THANK GOD FOR GRAMMAS!

Anonymous said...

This Grammy's comment is about how much fun we are having and what hard work we are doing. I love the tradition of all the older folks at Costco saying, "God bless you! with the "68-year-old couldn't be the mother" look or "Good bless them! to the little darlings. Very thoughtful and sweet. We need all the blessings we can get when we are on that outing.

cyhunsaker

Tennille said...

I despise going to the bathroom with toddlers. Even now, T always tries to open the door, but he'll look at me first--like, "I know this is wrong, but it will be so fun, right? Right?"

Thank you for posting about the extra money for extra poundage. I'll definitely keep that in mind--we're probably flying to Florida in May. Kill me now! :)

Julie M. said...

Yikes! I absolutely am with you on the whole potty thing. However, I recommend going before you get on the plane, as I was in the airplane bathroom with a newborn, a 1 year old, and the 3 year old. What a nightmare! And I can't believe how un-accommodating people are. Stupid airlines! I'm glad you made it!

Melanie said...

I think every mother has been in the bathroom and had that moment of dread when the lock is discovered. It also took me a while to get Harrison from touching the toilet seat EVERY time we went in a stall. He was just drawn to it. He would put both palms on the seat and peer into the bowl all the while Im saying "DONT TOUCH DONT TOUCH"

Shannon said...

Oh! Jen I knew those days minus one child. One more adds a lot more. Let little Cashy pants keep his binkie. My boys had an easier time (every one is different) giving it up when they were 2 1/2 and 3. They only used it passed 18 months for bedtime and they knew the rule. Binkies are lifesavers.

Anne Marie said...

Oh my goodness. Your time at the airport sounds like a nightmare! So sorry! I hate the whole baggage fee thing that the airlines have started. The lock on the public bathroom door is always the worst part of bringing kids in the bathroom. Your little twinners look darling on the therapy website. Enjoy your mom's visit. Definitely the way to survive the month of January (what I consider to be the "armpit of the year"....with all the sicknesses going around, the decreased daylight, and the post-Christmas blues that always set in for me).

Chadlee said...

Yeah, Stella's all about the bathroom locks, too. That flight sounded really painful. Glad to hear your home. And that your twins are now famous on that website!

H. said...

I was busting up as I read about the bathroom experience! Thanks for the good laugh. Glad you are enjoying your mom's stay and glad your hellish flight is over.

Laura A said...

Jen, you are a trooper!!!! This brings back happy memories, okay, not happy, but memories nevertheless.......of multiple trips to Switzerland with three then later four small children..... On one such trip we had just taken away Jeremy's bottle.

With Richard holding him and Jeremy SCREAMING at the back of the plane, the flight attendant offered me a glass of white wine.....I thought, for once, that drinking it was probably the best possible solution........

Jenilee said...

I am so glad you are now home and can put the airport experience behind you. Luckily Savannah has never opened the bathroom stall, but she has been close.

Kathryn said...

Jen, I am so glad you share your experiences on your blog...I just read your previous posts. Wish I could have Cash come play with Sam for a few hours. Missing you!

Anonymous said...

you are so hilarious! you should write a book. I could so relate with the whole bathroom dilemma. How funny. That is why we vow we aren't going to travel for at least a year after we visit Utah. Then a couple months later here we are thinking of planning another trip out....

Susie said...

It's over,it's over,it's over. . . All's well that ends!

SSAS said...

What an adventure. Thanks for sharing. You make me laugh. Love you.