Monday, July 28, 2008

Things I'm learning

1. I cannot sleep hot.

2. I cannot sleep damp.
* The one time I gave up and took an Ambien, I did not seem to care if I was hot or damp.

3. When the cleavage sweat starts to roll, I say screw the electric bill and get up and turn down the temperature.

4. When people say you live in an "up and coming" area, that's code for, "still kind of ghetto."

5. The weather in Miami is always "partly cloudy with a chance of rain." That means that it's sunny, but there could be a downpour at any second.

6. When you go to Target and the carts lock when you get ten feet out of the front door (so you don't steal them) - and are still a few hundred feet from your car, you realize it really does get worse that just having to pay to park at Target (which you also have to do).

7. Instead of saying "have a nice summer" or some other pleasant message on the high school marquees here, our local high school says, "have a safe summer." When you see the area it's in, my mind automatically extrapolates that to, "have a safe summer - don't get shot."

8. If you never leave your air conditioned apartment, the hair frizz actually isn't too bad.

9. Exception to #8 - see #2. When sleeping damp, whatever half of the head is in the pool of sweat will be frizzy when you wake up. Or get up, as the case may be, since you are probably not sleeping.

10. (And this one totally grosses me out), if you leave your flour, sugar, oats, etc., in your cupboards, bugs will sprout from spores that are in them and you will open up a bag full of bugs. Apparently you have to put them in the freezer for a few weeks to kill off the spores. My next door neighbor warned me of this as it happened to her recently when she didn't believe the people that told her.

11. When you remove yourself from the blogging world for a week, it's a little overwhelming when I sign in to my google reader and see that I have 123 new blog posts to read! You mean the world went on without me while I was unpacking boxes?

12. I was not kidding about Miami fashion. My sister can vouch for me. I think she may have hurt her eyes from all the hot pink she saw. And all the exposed flesh.

13. My feet get really tired walking around on hard wood floors all day. Does this happen to anyone else? I know it looks better, and it's weird to say, but I still prefer carpet.

14. In our conversations with people so far here, it seems that a common pastime of non-Floridians is complaining about Florida and Floridians.

15. People call Miami "the closest city to the U.S." Because this is definitely not the U.S. you've ever known down here.

All this said, we had probably the warmest welcome at church yesterday that I've ever had in any ward, and I actually really like our apartment. Imagine - somewhere that actually has potential to look nice! Even when you clean it! And we have cable! For those of you who were ever gored by our 7-foot rabbit ears, you know that's a definite improvement. But now I really am by myself. We'll see how it goes.


Anonymous said...

Bless you! Have a great day. All you have to do is keep everyone alive. I love you all and will be sending Cash's alphabet book tomorrow. Found under the couch.
What a great post.


Lima Bean said...

For some reason reading #10 reminded me of our Pretoria flat filled with cockroaches. At least they were only running around the food in the cupboards, not IN the food. This post makes me want to come and see what Miami is like. I'll look forward to your future stories about the crazy city. :-)

Lu Lu said...

"still kind of ghetto" true. And it might be time to shop at Target online. You get free shipping if you spend $50.

Jen I said...

Ok, but I actually did find cockroaches in something once there - like my onion powder or something. But yeah, I had some gross experiences with bugs in that apartment.

Free shipping for $50? Hmm, I definitely spend that at Target. Good idea.

sarah starr said...

Sounds like you're having a great time. Hey, at least you're unpacked!

H. said...

Welcome home Jen. I'm sure you'll love it. I'm glad the ward is good. Have a safe summer :)

Aloha_Misty said...

Just reading your blog made me start sweating! We are moving to Georgia on Friday and I am not looking forward to the return of humidity...I guess I can be happy I don't have to deal with curly hair too!

Shannon said...

Jen carpet is one of the nastiest inventions EVER. Imagine the mold, bacteria, etc. that would live in it there. Wear house shoes.

Jen I said...

I knew you would say that Shannon. :) I specifically thought of the horror it would cause you when I wrote that! Sorry, but my feet HURT!

Shannon said...

I am tellin' ya get some house shoes. Cork soles. Or must I say it. Some Crocs. They won't hurt anymore.

Kimi said...

Our apartment in China is all tile. I wear crocs. Partly so my feet don't hurt and partly because the tile is cold.

Ty and Trista Swartzlander said...

Jen, you are too funny. I was laughing through your entire list. You will get use to all the crazy Miami stuff. I am so happy you are here. You are a trooper.

Melissa said...

Oh, the humor you provide me with. The Target thing is crazy. Even if I didn't have kids the whole locked shopping cart thing would cause me trouble. I can't go in that place without buying it out. So, there's no way I could carry it to my car myself.
I'm glad the ward is nice. There is something to be said about the southern hospitality. (Not sure if that applies to Florida though.)
You deserve a million gold stars for your motherhood abilities. And your doctor deserves a serious slap across the face.
Hopes thins get better ASAP!!!!