Tomorrow is the day I've dreaded for the last 6 weeks - the 6am flight to Miami with the three kids (and my sister). Which means getting up three kids at 4am. Which leads to whatever sleep-deprived repercussions will follow for them throughout the torturously long day.
Which means I feel like the summer is over. I know it's not, but I don't have kids in school, so really every day feels the same anyway. It's just the feeling of being here in Utah surrounded by family, playing with cousins, etc. is over. I've loved it. I'm not the kind that ever thinks a stay here in Utah was too long. I'm not the kind that is so ready to go home when I'm done.
Especially this time. Because it leads to the other two things I'm frankly terrified of: living in Miami, and being alone with my three children. I know other people have three kids. I know people manage just fine. Personally though, it terrifies me. My family has done such an amazing job of keeping me stocked with volunteers (from 6 years-old and up) at all times, that I've rarely had to be alone with all three kids. It's been fabulous. I don't know what I'll do with Cash either, he wakes up asking for his cousins, sings songs about them, and truthfully doesn't mention much about either Ryan or me.
So now I move to a place where no one knows me, I'm not living close to anyone, we're far away from the church, which means church people live far away from us, and no one will know what I really feel like having these twins and the toddler, and no one will help take ownership of my problems like my family does. Isn't that amazing though? I wish I could have been half as attentive and clued-in when my siblings were going through their child-bearing years. Thanks guys. You're the best.