I must have deliberately forgotten how I posted a year ago about never flying by myself with all 4 boys again. The flight home from Utah this week pictured me wrangling a screaming baby trying to arch out of my grasp on one arm while the other arm held the barf bag across the aisle for an air-sick Cash, with the twins alternately yelling and whining or getting yelled at not to fall asleep since we're just landing and have to clean up whatever mess ensues from the air-sickness, get to the air train, across the airport and onto the next flight in less than 40 minutes (they're near impossible to rouse once they fall asleep). And I thought I was doing so well and that it would be manageable because we did manage to get the barf in the bag. Throw it away, no big deal, move on. Until I look down and see it all leaking out the bottom. Of three different bags we had to use. Seriously???
Anyhow, onto other unappetizing subjects.
Like my children giving out way too much information. Must boys always announce every bodily function?? Will I ever again walk into a bathroom not to be greeted by a toilet full of un-flushed poop?
Cash especially is in an un-censored chatty phase. Recently we were with some friends when I overheard him talking to one of the boys about Ninjago. The boy was saying how he had never seen the show and I hear Cash saying, "That's what you do when your mom is still asleep in the morning." At this point I started walking over shaking my head starting to say, "Yeah, so it's probably not like that in his family..." and I see his friend looking at him so confused saying, "But, but... my mom is never... my mom is always there..." Um yeah, you don't really have to advertise that to everyone. :)
Then I asked Cash one day if he wanted to go to the store with me. When he said no I jokingly asked if he didn't want to go because he had crazy hair (he just had serious bedhead). I overhear him a minute later talking my brother's ear off. "I'm not going to the store because my hair is crazy. I have crazy hair because I got lice. One time I went camping and then the next day I woke up and had lice. Then we had to cut my hair off. Then my brothers got lice and then we all had to...." Ok, ok, thank you for the skin-crawling conversation that no one asked for.
Then one day when my nephew observed him and asked if he needed to go to the bathroom he loudly announces, "I'm just fixing my pants, not grabbing my penis!" I mean, in some ways it's good my boys have inherited my bluntness, but um, can we at least tone it down?
My mom was seriously dying at the lack of refinement my children exhibit. I mean, you can remind your kid to say thank you when they forget, but it's a little hard to backtrack when all the family is out for Sunday dinner and you just happen to look over to see the kid who has walked in to the table bend over and touch his toes exposing a bum full of poop waiting for a wipe. Seriously, why can't I break them of that habit?? Why do they not get the just call me from the bathroom routine? This is by far not a one time occurrence!
Not to mention the gas. How do you get your kids not to pass gas right as their walking by someone's face? Or sitting on someone's lap?? Seriously, these boys....
I wonder if it's an I-have-a-lot-of-kids problem. I'm sure if I just had one I could be more on top of his manners every time he did anything, but can you imagine how crazy I would go if I was nit-picking (ugh, I remembered I hate that phrase) every little thing every one of them did all the time? I'd lose my mind.
So I'll just say a global excuse us and hope you can over look the raw depiction of every bodily function emitted from my children.
Classy and refined. That's the way we roll around here.