Monday, October 13, 2008

So dramatic

Thanks for the break. Sorry if it seemed dramatic. I can't even claim PMS since I haven't even had a period since, oh, I don't know, 2005? But especially, thanks for all the comments.Wow. I laughed. I even cried. I loved the comment: "Who is your publicist?! This is a great publicity stunt!" No kidding. Who knew it would elicit a record-breaking amount of comments and draw so many readers out of the closet! It felt like I lucked out and got to hear my funeral even after I died. Only not so morbid. And nobody died.

And I didn't mean to bite the hand that feeds me. Really, you guys have been such a great support over the last year. And cheaper than therapy.

Anyhow, I've been having so many thoughts lately about negativity. With all the election coverage, I've been watching more CNN, Fox, etc. Um, does anyone else notice a serious lack of warm fuzzies after watching all that? There's just so much darn negativity in our society (like most of my blog, ha ha. Sometimes I wonder why anyone is still reading). But I hate that everyone is always trying to catch someone in something. Or blame someone for something. After that first economic bill didn't pass, show after show was dedicated to simply finding someone to blame for it. Then with all those Sarah Palin interviews. Like her or not, I kept asking Ryan how all those interviewers could feel good about almost trying to catch her in an uncomfortable moment. I know it makes for good tv, but isn't there just something intrinsic in people that wouldn't want to make someone feel awkward?

I was talking to a friend recently about some of this. A little closer to home I also mentioned how the girls I knew in New York were always really good about paying compliments to people. It seemed like almost every Sunday you went to church, someone would find something complimentary to say to you. And so it bred, and everyone always seemed to be passing on the compliments because everyone realized how much they enjoyed having something nice said about them. My friend said she heard once that if you're ever thinking something nice about a person you should say it out loud. Sound advice.

*****

Well while I've been gone, we had some doctors appointments, got Halloween all figured out (subject for another day), I managed church by myself again, I read two and a half books (yeah, what? Remember this post about how I don't read?), I finally got all those nails cut, exercised a bit, and I even lost 5 lbs. Ok, I'm totally lying about that last part.

But anyway, yes, I never read. After reading so much lately I still have mixed emotions about it (like all the child neglect??). But one thing I find is that when I read so much I get way too much in book mode, and besides losing touch with reality and forgetting which is my real life and which is my alter-ego, it's like I really start narrating my own life. Like there's a constant stream of narraration running in my head.

She peeked around the door and did a quick check down the hallway. The coast was clear - good time to take a diaper out to the garbage chute. But perhaps someone would find it just the right time to leave their apartment. How unfortunate that would be, she thought as she quickened the pace of her bare feet. She was really hoping for an uneventful run to the garbage today, or at least anonymity she thought as she caught a glance of her reflection off the elevator door.
She knew that wasn't likely here at the Cite*. She was quite aware of the attention they drew almost everywhere they went here. The chic and single weren't used to seeing so many small children - especially not legitimately, and not all from the same mother. She could only imagine the rolled eyes as people passed their apartment. Certainly these thin walls didn't keep out all the crying and tantrums that went on inside. Living right by the door to the garage made for heavy traffic and she was all too sure everyone knew she lived here.
Such a mysterious lot in this building. Like the overly nonchalant lady across the hall. The one who was always "suddenly" fumbling with her key or fascinated with something in her purse every time they were in the hallway at the same time. Was she secretly keeping tabs on what she perceived as the grubby little family across the hall through the peephole? Did she really think she could indefinitely avoid greeting them as long as they lived across from her?
Woah. Second glance. Yes, that was a subpoena on that woman's door today. All the more intriguing. Maybe she had her reasons for being mysterious.
Oh right, diaper, she remembered. If someone did come out now, would they notice that yes, those were still pajamas she was wearing, she wondered? Would someone come close enough to catch a whiff of the diaper she was throwing out? Did all those surveillance cameras keep tallies on this kind of thing? Was there a limit to the amount of fecal matter one apartment could contribute to the garbage bins in one day? She had actually calculated it, and was quite sure they produced more than any other condo in the building, hands down.
But then, would that passing stranger think it was just the diaper that smelled or would they be astute enough to wonder if she'd gotten in a shower yet today? And would they notice that she didn't even have a bra on yet? They were mostly childless around here, certainly no one would suspect the large spot on her shirt could be from milk leakage. Could they? With that she heard the elevator stop at the fourth floor. She threw in the rancid diaper and darted back in to her apartment before she had to come face to face with another one of Those Beautiful People. They would certainly not still be in their pajamas at three o'clock in the afternoon.

*Cite - name of our condo building. French (why? don't know). Pronounced sit-tay. Slogan:"In the mix. On the bay." Super chic and trendy. With one exception.

Granted, it does make my dull life seem a little more exciting. But then I can't seem to turn it off. She lamented.
See what I mean? She exclaimed, aggravated.



24 comments:

Ty and Trista Swartzlander said...

I am so glad you are back. I missed reading all about Jen. You are an amazing friend. Thanks for always being you. I laughed so hard about the 60 nails. You actually have 80 nails to cut but being a mom we tend to forget about the last 20. :)

AnnaMarie Ferrell said...

Captivating story! I couldn't put it down!

I agree about the negativity in society...sometimes it seems like complaining is the only thing to talk about.
That's good advice about saying positive things aloud!

todd & nicole said...

I really think you should write a book. I would buy it. I love your stories...keep them coming.

Julie M. said...

Seriously, if you wrote it, I'd buy it! :) I'm glad your back. I was just noticing today I have to cut 80 nails, and thought of you!

Anonymous said...

Hooray! How fun to hear more about your actual life. Who knew that your hallway was so fascinating!

xoxocyh

emily johns said...

Love it. The narration was quite entertaining :)

Paul and Nikki Fawson said...

ok maybe you should write a book about the miami experience. You are actually a great writer. Had me reading. Anyway I'm glad you are getting things done. Something I had yet to do and you have one more person to take care of. If you ever need to just get away and not think about hard times. Come on up to Aventura and we'll go out and havea good time. kids and all.

Leong Family said...

I have to say, I do the same thing when I am in reading mode...my life becomes a book in my head.

Lu Lu said...

Oh read Pride and Prejudice and write it again. I love their language and they express criticism in such a direct yet polite and subtle way. Always taking note of the pleasing weather. And what a great read! You could even ask Ryan to call you Mrs. Isom.

Hunnygrams said...

You may get a big head from the praise from your friends and fans. Love the dialogue. We should all be paying you an entertainment commission. you really do have an exta-ordinary talent-- your gift of writing, your delightful way of describing your life. You remind me that even the mundane becomes an almost unsurmountable obstacle (and a great adventure-- although I'm not sure that
is what YOU would call it) with 3 little ones.
When David was almost 3 and the twins were 11 months old, I was running something out to my car one June morning. Hurrying down my 3 front porch stairs to put something in the car, my food slid sideways in my sandal and I felt an excurciating pain at the same time hearing a sound like a tree limb cracking -- except that it was my ankle breaking in 4 places. I collapsed on the stairs realizing with horror that all three kids were in the house alone, and I was stranded outside. I yelled David's name over and over, but he didn't respond. Finally a neighbor boy heard me yelling, looked and saw me laying there. I had him go in and call Kirk at the grocery store. Luckily he was only a couple of minutes away. I was whisked away in an amblulance for St. Marks hospital for 7 days. Thank goodness for Tina age 11 and Elise age 8, my mom, and Grandma Hunsaker. I was laid up on the couch or in my bed with a hip high cast for 6 weeks.
How fortunate I was to have the help I did.
I had kind of forgotten that panicked feeling of wondering how long I would lay there and what kind of destruction could be taking place inside.

H. said...

OK, so putting forth the compliment in my head, you are a great writer. If anyone could write a story of our "mundane" mommyhood lives and make it fascinating, you could. And without all the soap opera drama of Desparate Housewives. Just the real drama of life.

Goeb Life said...

Thank GOD you are back....I feel the same way about books, while I read, I just do it very slow paced after Eva is in bed and before I fall asleep. I find it hard to justify reading when I have a list of household chores to do and a child to care for. Can't wait to read more!!

Melanie said...

What a comeback!!! I joke all the time that I cant read anymore. Besides feeling I should be doing other things I literally dont have the attention span. I like to say since Im with a 2yo all day that I have the equivalent mindset. Go go do do.
Glad to see you back in the game!

Anne Marie said...

You are a natural writer. I don't know how you come up with all your ideas. Totally agree with you about the negativity thing.

jonelle said...

As always I think you are so amazing Jen. Seriously, I would read your book. Think about it! Jen Isom the author!

shannon said...

What you been reading?

shannon said...

What you been reading?

Anonymous said...

I'm glad your back. I enjoy your writing immensely! Your boys are the darlingist!
Have a great day.

Jenilee said...

Welcome back Jen. We love you and We miss your wonderful family. I love your story. Good luck with the diaper trip today.

Julie said...

JEN,
You make me laugh. I started the 4th book of the Twilight serious Saturday night and finished last night. My kids LOVED watching TV and having cold cereal to eat when I was too busy to care!!!!! So Bella has been in my head today! Then I think, it's over. You finished it yesterday.

Have a great day!
Julie

Laurie Jones said...

You are so funny Jen. I am the same way when I read a lot as well and sometimes I just have to take a break. My problem is that I am somehow transformed into the life of the characters and find myself thinking about them constantly (especially when driving) like they are my friends. That's why it is good to have a few hobbies so you don't go insane.

Rachel said...

I love it!

Chadlee said...

So glad you are back. I need a pick-me-up! Your story reminded me of our place in LA, with walking down the hallway to the garbage chute or down to our basement to do laundry in the laundromat. I would often do it in pajamas, no bra, no makeup, etc. hoping not to bump into anyone. The sad thing was if I did bump into someone, it was one of Steve's co-workers since we lived in a building for residents. So sad about the election coverage on TV. Things are a mess and so negative. The media execs need to grow up already.

Catherine Call said...

I loved the narration! My favorite line of the whole post was at the very bottom..."with one exception." It just struck me so funny, and I have been giggling out loud for several minutes about it!