So dramatic

Thanks for the break. Sorry if it seemed dramatic. I can't even claim PMS since I haven't even had a period since, oh, I don't know, 2005? But especially, thanks for all the comments.Wow. I laughed. I even cried. I loved the comment: "Who is your publicist?! This is a great publicity stunt!" No kidding. Who knew it would elicit a record-breaking amount of comments and draw so many readers out of the closet! It felt like I lucked out and got to hear my funeral even after I died. Only not so morbid. And nobody died.

And I didn't mean to bite the hand that feeds me. Really, you guys have been such a great support over the last year. And cheaper than therapy.

Anyhow, I've been having so many thoughts lately about negativity. With all the election coverage, I've been watching more CNN, Fox, etc. Um, does anyone else notice a serious lack of warm fuzzies after watching all that? There's just so much darn negativity in our society (like most of my blog, ha ha. Sometimes I wonder why anyone is still reading). But I hate that everyone is always trying to catch someone in something. Or blame someone for something. After that first economic bill didn't pass, show after show was dedicated to simply finding someone to blame for it. Then with all those Sarah Palin interviews. Like her or not, I kept asking Ryan how all those interviewers could feel good about almost trying to catch her in an uncomfortable moment. I know it makes for good tv, but isn't there just something intrinsic in people that wouldn't want to make someone feel awkward?

I was talking to a friend recently about some of this. A little closer to home I also mentioned how the girls I knew in New York were always really good about paying compliments to people. It seemed like almost every Sunday you went to church, someone would find something complimentary to say to you. And so it bred, and everyone always seemed to be passing on the compliments because everyone realized how much they enjoyed having something nice said about them. My friend said she heard once that if you're ever thinking something nice about a person you should say it out loud. Sound advice.

*****

Well while I've been gone, we had some doctors appointments, got Halloween all figured out (subject for another day), I managed church by myself again, I read two and a half books (yeah, what? Remember this post about how I don't read?), I finally got all those nails cut, exercised a bit, and I even lost 5 lbs. Ok, I'm totally lying about that last part.

But anyway, yes, I never read. After reading so much lately I still have mixed emotions about it (like all the child neglect??). But one thing I find is that when I read so much I get way too much in book mode, and besides losing touch with reality and forgetting which is my real life and which is my alter-ego, it's like I really start narrating my own life. Like there's a constant stream of narraration running in my head.

She peeked around the door and did a quick check down the hallway. The coast was clear - good time to take a diaper out to the garbage chute. But perhaps someone would find it just the right time to leave their apartment. How unfortunate that would be, she thought as she quickened the pace of her bare feet. She was really hoping for an uneventful run to the garbage today, or at least anonymity she thought as she caught a glance of her reflection off the elevator door.
She knew that wasn't likely here at the Cite*. She was quite aware of the attention they drew almost everywhere they went here. The chic and single weren't used to seeing so many small children - especially not legitimately, and not all from the same mother. She could only imagine the rolled eyes as people passed their apartment. Certainly these thin walls didn't keep out all the crying and tantrums that went on inside. Living right by the door to the garage made for heavy traffic and she was all too sure everyone knew she lived here.
Such a mysterious lot in this building. Like the overly nonchalant lady across the hall. The one who was always "suddenly" fumbling with her key or fascinated with something in her purse every time they were in the hallway at the same time. Was she secretly keeping tabs on what she perceived as the grubby little family across the hall through the peephole? Did she really think she could indefinitely avoid greeting them as long as they lived across from her? Woah. Second glance. Yes, that was a subpoena on that woman's door today. All the more intriguing. Maybe she had her reasons for being mysterious.
Oh right, diaper, she remembered. If someone did come out now, would they notice that yes, those were still pajamas she was wearing, she wondered? Would someone come close enough to catch a whiff of the diaper she was throwing out? Did all those surveillance cameras keep tallies on this kind of thing? Was there a limit to the amount of fecal matter one apartment could contribute to the garbage bins in one day? She had actually calculated it, and was quite sure they produced more than any other condo in the building, hands down.
But then, would that passing stranger think it was just the diaper that smelled or would they be astute enough to wonder if she'd gotten in a shower yet today? And would they notice that she didn't even have a bra on yet? They were mostly childless around here, certainly no one would suspect the large spot on her shirt could be from milk leakage. Could they? With that she heard the elevator stop at the fourth floor. She threw in the rancid diaper and darted back in to her apartment before she had to come face to face with another one of Those Beautiful People. They would certainly not still be in their pajamas at three o'clock in the afternoon.

*Cite - name of our condo building. French (why? don't know). Pronounced sit-tay. Slogan:"In the mix. On the bay." Super chic and trendy. With one exception.

Granted, it does make my dull life seem a little more exciting. But then I can't seem to turn it off. She lamented.
See what I mean? She exclaimed, aggravated.