The joys of boys

Phrases and happenings around here recently:

Cash saying in his sweetest voice to Phoenix, "Phoenix, will you take my socks off?''  To which Phoenix replies just as sweetly, "Okay!" and obediently sets about the task while his brother lounges on the couch. Ah, the privileges of being the oldest.

One day I hear Phoenix running out of the bathroom yelling, "NO!  I do it by MYSELF!!"  And I see Ashton running after him wailing, "Noooo!  I wipe Nee-nik's bum!!"  Really?  Who'd have thought I'd have to institute a we wipe our own bums in this house policy?

Cash is at that age where he can just talk and talk.  Our poor unsuspecting neighbor got an earful the other day when Cash descriptively told him about all the places on his body that he doesn't have hair like his dad does.  Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was more than he was looking for when that conversation opened up.  :)

And now I'm in hiding because my boys are all so curious after listing off all the people in the house who had little penises and then following with the ones who had big ones like dad, and mom.  After informing them I didn't have one they were all shocked and now keep trying to figure it out. And they keep trying to figure their own out.  Man, I really had no idea what I was getting into with all these little boys.   

If the name fits

I realized I should have put this on here in case I ever get around to making the blog into a book, and since any other form of scrapbooking is becoming less and less likely. 

It really was no illusion that I've been getting robbed of the baby stage with this little guy.  At his two month appointment a few weeks ago he weighed in at 14lb 7oz.  He was 95th percentile for height and weight.  I hope he keeps it up - if you've got three older brothers to wail on you, you're going to need all the help you can get.  At least we chose the right kid for the name!

Blessing

Blessing.  Great word.  We had Diesel's blessing, he is such a little blessing, and I even felt many small blessings that day and over the weekend. It was much needed coming on the heels of some rotten weeks.  One blessing about church on Sunday was that my kids stayed quiet during the meeting which is no small miracle, and Phoenix even fell asleep in my arms.  That has NEVER happened.  It was so sweet. Most especially since neither he nor I ever sit still - let alone at the same time.  It was so fun to be able to sit and look at him and study his little features and look for the baby face in the little boy he has become.  And there were 4 baby blessings that day in church.  I could have sat there and listened to them all meeting long it was so special.  It was such a happy day to hold and behold all my little ones.

 

 I tried out a few comparisons here just for fun.  It was hilarious to see how Diesel filled out every inch of the same blessing outfit that was so baggy on Cash.  Poor little Cash was the skinniest baby you ever did see.  Diesel was also a little older when we blessed him.  It's funny that when all my friends and I had our babies here 2 months ago, we noticed that you could line them all up and know exactly which family they belonged to.  So while Diesel is his own little man, I guess you can tell he really is one of us, and not totally unlike the twins either. Here are some comparisons:

Cash, Diesel, Phoenix, and Ashton

(Cash was just too skinny at his blessing to look anything like his future self, so the above picture is slightly older. The one below is a skinny version.)

Phoenix, Diesel, Ashton

Saturday afternoons

It was when the 4th body joined the bed yesterday that I realized there would be no Saturday afternoon nap for me.  :)

Survival mode

Alright, I'll admit we haven't taken to 4 children as gracefully as I had hoped.  I have lots of friends with 4 kids and they don't all seem ready to lose it at any second.  I even had a night full of dreams of how out of control I am - forgetting the baby and leaving him at the mall, driving the kids around without car seats, forgetting to pick up Cash (he's in tears if I'm ever a minute late) and having him never talk to me again, and then waking up to find my husband had gone over the deep end and chopped up all the furniture in the house to make bunk beds for the kids and I had to just smile and say it looked great because I knew the stress of his life had finally made him go crazy.  :)

Currently we're all sick, I'm going in for another MRI this week, spinal injections again next week, and every night seems impossibly worse than the last.  The baby won't go to sleep before 12 or 1am (which means neither Ryan or I either), and then last night there were periods of time when something was happening every 20 minutes. The baby was miserable and crying (he's sick too), the twins were having nightmares, and then Ryan's pager (he's on call) was going off all the time until he finally got called in at 3am.  Phew.  And next week Ryan leaves for Ethiopia for two weeks. At least he'll get a vacation from the chaos.  Thankfully my mom is coming to the rescue again - I don't think I've had more than 5 hours of sleep a night since she's left. And my house hasn't been cleaned since my sister left 2 weeks after the baby was born.  :)

This isn't really a cry for help or anything, we're doing the best we can. I'm trying to at least find someone to come clean the house or something, and I'm trying to eliminate any non-necessities right now.  I guess I'm just writing to have something to look back at someday when my kids are old and I miss these days.  :)  And then remember that I might not miss everything about these days. 

But I will miss this cute face!.

Anyhow, here's when your brother's try to play with you (I walked in the room and panicked for a minute when I couldn't find the baby!):

 

At least some things are making it worth it all.

Random snapshots

Every so often I have to laugh at the things you never thought you would hear or say before you were a parent.  Like overhearing myself at the park saying "Don't wipe boogers on your brother." Or "Stop shoving money in the cracks of the dishwasher." Or today, Phoenix came out of the bathroom and needed a bum wipe. As I was hurrying to get a wipe, I see him leaning his backside against the couch and yelled out a big, "No! Don't lean on the couch!" Sure enough as he steps away we all notice poop smeared on the couch.  So then I have to laugh as Ashton runs to get a wipe to clean his brother's poop off the couch (how sweet) and then I see him wagging his finger in Phoenix's face saying in his deliberate manner of speaking, "Nee-nik (his form of Phoenix), don't put your poop on da couch.  Nee-nik.  Don't. Put. Poop. On. Da. Couch!"
 
Then as I was in the other room I hear the front door shut. Oh no, I think to myself. I run to the door and look out in the hall.  Sure enough I overhear three little boys trying to coordinate actions to figure out how to open the door and then maneuver the trash chute open so they can throw away the diapers.  While it is helpful that they've taken the job of throwing out the baby's diapers upon themselves, I usually have to brace myself.  Not only are the three stooges barefoot and parent-less roaming the hallway, but, as I suspected, Cash has nothing but underwear on and Ashton has absolutely no underwear on at all.  Thank heavens for the sake of the other tenants that at least Phoenix was decent. But really, three very small, very naked boys trying to throw out a bunch of poopy diapers (which had fallen out and were all over the hallway floor) by themselves must have been a pretty funny sight to come upon.

Or like last night Phoenix was eating dinner bare-bummed.  At one point he was standing up on his chair to reach something and when he pulled back off the table his cup of milk came sliding off.  Luckily he was able to catch the cup at the last second - right between his bare legs, his little boy parts sitting right in the top of the cup. It was such a sight that we hardly knew how to react.  Good catch? Why in the world don't you have any stinking pants on at dinner?!  Thank you for not spilling your milk on the floor like someone does at least once a meal! Or just WHY ON EARTH AM I SITTING AT THE DINNER TABLE LOOKING AT YOUR LITTLE WIENER IN A GLASS OF MILK?!?!?

Ugh. Sorry for all the potty talk, but I realize the problem is that I'm always sitting around nursing and these boys aren't the most adept at putting their pants back on after they go to the bathroom, or they just don't like to.  Which makes for a lot of naked incidents.  But seriously, as there was one random thing after another yesterday, I thought, man if you just captured all these random snapshots of our day on film, you could have a pretty good gag reel.

Time flies

At about 4 weeks I realized why is it that the last 4 weeks of pregnancy seem to last an eternity and the first 4 weeks after the baby is born seem to fly? This baby is growing way to fast!  It doesn't help that he's also my biggest baby and is bigger at this point than any of my other babies were.  He was 11lbs at his 4 week visit and was like 97th percentile for height and weight.  Slow down baby! I feel like I'm getting robbed of this baby stage! 

These next pictures pretty much sum up the rest of the household - crazy and full of personality.

(This is Phoenix and his preferred mode of transportation around our house. Seriously, even if you tell him to go to the bathroom he'll go get his scooter and ride it into the bathroom):












Although I have to say these guys are so much fun right now and say the funniest things. I don't know if it's just that I'm sitting around nursing so much that I get to observe them playing together more, but they are playing together so well and it's so funny to hear the things they come up with.  It's been a huge blessing.  Of course they fight and clobber each other the other half of the time, but at least there are good moments.
 
The other night when we put the kids to bed there were the million demands and complaints as usual. I guess Cash got sick of being ignored so we finally hear a very stern, growling yell from him-  "HERE'S THE DEAL: I JUST WANT MY BLANKETS!!!!!!!"  I don't know where he gets these funny phrases like "here's the deal" and then yesterday he was showing our neighbor all the cool stuff on his Leapster and while trying to add to the awesomeness of what he was about to show him, he pulled out a trendy version of "Wait for it....wait for it...."  which had our neighbor busting up (as I'm sure he was already dying to see yet another trick on the Leapster....)  I don't know where he comes up with these things.

Sometimes we even manage to get some brotherly love among these three.



And so I have to laugh that while it is virtually impossible to pull off a cute, posed, look at the camera and smile picture in this family, I finally realized - and am trying to embrace the fact that at least we have pretty accurate depictions of how life really is here. These crazies really are a lot of fun.

 

Stupid human tricks

It seems in my old age my plumbing has gone awry.  Apparently I've sprung a leak and can squeeze milk out of my armpit. 

Nope, you're not any better off knowing that.  :)   But I do wonder if there's a market for special people like me.  :) 

This is what I expected

Yesterday I was out the door for church an hour late, with orange hair (a mishap from the night before I didn't really have time to fix), I actually hadn't prepared my church lesson (gasp - I know my husband never prepares a lesson in his life, but that is so not my style) and I slid my way into class without a second to spare. I then realized that my hot rollers (that never actually made it into my hair) were still plugged in 30 minutes away at our house that I had left covered in a mess of clothes that hadn't fit.  Sigh.

 Before I had children, someone once told me, "Motherhood is a great equalizer."

I hadn't fully understood what she meant until I had children.  Once I had my first, I got the message loud and clear - if you think you're on top of your game, give motherhood a shot.

I remember after having our first how much I'd look around at other moms thinking - wow, I know exactly what you went through to get out the door this morning, and having all new appreciation for them. I also felt slightly deceived at first as well - why didn't any of you warn me what my body was going to go through?!?  You all act like this is OK??? But yes, suddenly I wasn't breezing out the door by myself in the morning, looking all coiffed and polished, going the extra mile for everything, getting paychecks and traveling on airplanes and feeling like I had it together. Suddenly my life, my body, and so many other things felt out of my control. But I knew I was on the same footing as every other mom out there.

I think I've been reflecting on this as I've hit that point with a new baby where exhaustion starts to win out over euphoria, I realize I never get anything done, my beautiful baby is covered with cradle cap and baby acne, and every time I sit down I have to tuck the overhang back into the maternity pants I wish I could say I wasn't still wearing.

And I realized, boy, have I embraced this lifestyle of total imperfection or what? 

It's probably a good thing. (Although I always figure if I take a few decent pictures, touch them up and throw them on the blog, people will just assume I'm on top of my game. Is it working?  :) 

The fact of the matter is that I am not going to be walking around my house on an average day wearing a stylish ensemble from Anthropologie, I will probably not be doing crafts with my kids, sewing my own curtains, throwing super-themed dinner parties for my friends, or making cute handouts for my next church lesson.

The reality is that I will probably be late, I will probably forget one or many things I was supposed to bring with me, do for you or take to my child's school that day; at some point and to your horror, one of my children will probably eat something off the ground without a word of discouragement from me, I will probably smell like spit-up, my kids will probably watch too much tv and eat too much sugar, and one or all of my children may not be wearing shoes at any given time.

Yep. I'm getting pretty used to it.

And then I smiled today when my aunt (thanks Susie!) sent me an article by April Perry that reinforced my thoughts exactly and helped me gear up for tomorrow - when my mom leaves.(Yikes.)

"How we feel about our lives depends on the relationship between our expectations and our realities. One way we can understand our potential and the nature of family life is to accept the fact that the world is made up of opposites. If it seems like the world is against us some days, and that we’ll never “reach our potential” or create the “perfect” family life, that’s okay. In order to enjoy the good, we need to experience the bad.

We wouldn’t know how beautiful an entire eight hours of undisturbed sleep is if we hadn’t had nights where we saw the clock change every single hour. When we become mothers, we need to expect opposites and realize that we have the capacity to grow and nurture our families—even when times are tough.

If you wake up in the morning saying, “Well, I know I’ve got my work cut out for me today. Hard things are definitely going to come my way, but with the help of Providence, I am ready for them,” then when hard times DO come, you think, “This is what I expected. And look what a great job I am doing!”

On the other hand, if you wake up thinking, “Today better be less crazy than yesterday. This is my itinerary, this is what I need to get done, this is what I want to happen, and if anyone gets in my way, there’s going to be heck to pay!”, then when the challenges come, we scream, “I've been cheated! Today turned out horribly! This wasn’t supposed to happen!”

I know that I’ve been guilty of these misplaced expectations. I’ve made the overflowing to-do list and been upset when nothing got checked off. I’ve been surprised when I went to the store with three little children and didn’t get complete cooperation.I’ve also been frustrated when the house turned into a pit on a day I was babysitting four other children. What on earth was I thinking when I hoped for anything different?

Now I think like this: “Expect the worst, and be happy if things don’t get there. It’s okay for some things to be mediocre.When my expectations are realistic—not low, not “giving up,” I start to see my potential in a totally different light."

I love that - this is what I expected. And this is what I chose.  So yes, expectations will be pretty low around here for a while. (Ok, and have been for, oh, like 3 or 4 years.  :)  But I'm going to try to just enjoy it.

You can stay this way

I thought that I was enjoying the baby stage so much this time because this baby is a better newborn compared to the others as newborns. Then one day I was sitting there as two children were throwing screaming tantrums in their beds or in time-out, and the other was throwing toys all over the house and making a mess of everything - and it dawned on me.  Nope, I enjoy the newborn stage this time because I know what can happen when they grow up.  :)  Yep, no talking-back, no tantrums, no sassy and defiant attitudes.... I don't know why we didn't appreciate the baby stage before. :)   I guess this time it's the contrast that makes it apparent.

Actually my kids are great, but it's like that poem - There was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead.  And when she was good she was very, very good, but when she was bad, she was horrid.  Amen to that.  The boys are so sweet and love to fight over who can show the coolest toy to the baby, they all say the funniest things, and I love their little personalities.  But darn if they can't be stubborn and miserable and fight ALL day long.  I went to the park for the first time by myself with all 4 yesterday and had to drag Ashton barefoot and screaming bloody murder all the way home while steering the stroller with the other.  Really? I couldn't look half-way in control at least once in front of the whole neighborhood?

While my sister was here Ryan and I managed to go out to a movie.  When we left the house I asked what keys he had.  When he said the Xterra and saw my face, he said, "What, you want a hot date on the town in the minivan?"  Which I did, and so did he.  Such a cooler car.  Anyhow, then we went to a movie. We got in there late and couldn't buy tickets at the kiosk, so we went up a few floors to where the movie was showing so I could ask the ticket guy if it was sold out, or if we couldn't buy tickets because it was after the show had started. He didn't know which but let me go in and check as long as Ryan stayed out there.  I came out and told Ryan there were only seats in the front two rows.  I tried to turn on my sweet side and then asked the guy if we couldn't just go in since there were only bad seats left anyway and we weren't able to buy tickets. He didn't look amused by my proposal.  I tried to butter him up further telling him we were out for my husband's birthday.  He said he didn't know if it was really his birthday or not. I said it was a few days earlier but we were just celebrating now.  And then added that it was because I had a baby last week and was out for my first time.  He then looked at my midsection skeptically (I had on loose clothes, not a flat stomach, don't worry), at which point I grabbed the excess belly skin in proof.  At that point he waved us in - with a look like, "Awwww, seriously lady?  Do we have to go there?  I'm an innocent teenage boy.... having to look at some lady's post-baby fat is so not in my job description...."   So there you have it.  If you ever want to get something free, just start getting into postpartum issues with a teenage boy and he'll do whatever he can to get out of that conversation ASAP.   :)