Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Random snapshots

Every so often I have to laugh at the things you never thought you would hear or say before you were a parent.  Like overhearing myself at the park saying "Don't wipe boogers on your brother." Or "Stop shoving money in the cracks of the dishwasher." Or today, Phoenix came out of the bathroom and needed a bum wipe. As I was hurrying to get a wipe, I see him leaning his backside against the couch and yelled out a big, "No! Don't lean on the couch!" Sure enough as he steps away we all notice poop smeared on the couch.  So then I have to laugh as Ashton runs to get a wipe to clean his brother's poop off the couch (how sweet) and then I see him wagging his finger in Phoenix's face saying in his deliberate manner of speaking, "Nee-nik (his form of Phoenix), don't put your poop on da couch.  Nee-nik.  Don't. Put. Poop. On. Da. Couch!"
 
Then as I was in the other room I hear the front door shut. Oh no, I think to myself. I run to the door and look out in the hall.  Sure enough I overhear three little boys trying to coordinate actions to figure out how to open the door and then maneuver the trash chute open so they can throw away the diapers.  While it is helpful that they've taken the job of throwing out the baby's diapers upon themselves, I usually have to brace myself.  Not only are the three stooges barefoot and parent-less roaming the hallway, but, as I suspected, Cash has nothing but underwear on and Ashton has absolutely no underwear on at all.  Thank heavens for the sake of the other tenants that at least Phoenix was decent. But really, three very small, very naked boys trying to throw out a bunch of poopy diapers (which had fallen out and were all over the hallway floor) by themselves must have been a pretty funny sight to come upon.

Or like last night Phoenix was eating dinner bare-bummed.  At one point he was standing up on his chair to reach something and when he pulled back off the table his cup of milk came sliding off.  Luckily he was able to catch the cup at the last second - right between his bare legs, his little boy parts sitting right in the top of the cup. It was such a sight that we hardly knew how to react.  Good catch? Why in the world don't you have any stinking pants on at dinner?!  Thank you for not spilling your milk on the floor like someone does at least once a meal! Or just WHY ON EARTH AM I SITTING AT THE DINNER TABLE LOOKING AT YOUR LITTLE WIENER IN A GLASS OF MILK?!?!?

Ugh. Sorry for all the potty talk, but I realize the problem is that I'm always sitting around nursing and these boys aren't the most adept at putting their pants back on after they go to the bathroom, or they just don't like to.  Which makes for a lot of naked incidents.  But seriously, as there was one random thing after another yesterday, I thought, man if you just captured all these random snapshots of our day on film, you could have a pretty good gag reel.

12 comments:

AnnaMarie said...

1. That is hilarious. 2. I'm glad I don't have boys. :)

Amy said...

Oh man, laughing out loud right now... and I'm by myself. My favorite is of phoenix and the milk cup. Your boys are hilarious and you definitely have a way with words.

Anonymous said...

This blog should have come with a disclaimer "Reader beware! You will need a tissue for laughing until you cry" and/or "hopefully you have gone to the bathroom lately!"

(Sorry for more potty talk!)

xoxocyh

Jess said...

Thank you for making me laugh out loud.
Parenting is a blast, isn't it?

Julie said...

What a crack up. My boys are going to love this post!

Julie

Megan said...

I love reading your blog! Always an adventure. You make me laugh so hard!

The Spendloves said...

Oh the joys of having multiples that are boys! I'm always surprised when I hear myself tell them things they will get in trouble for, like "If you wipe your boogers on the wall I'm taking away your Cars sheets." (They enjoy wiping their boogers on the wall like a collection or something) My favorite right now is their incessant need to say goodbye to their pee or poop. I swear they stick their heads in the toilet until they almost touch the water, yelling "Bye bye Austin's poopies!"

But I hear ya on the their inability to put underwear on right. I hand it to them the right way it always ends up wrong. I can only imagine what will happen in a few weeks when I can't easily hand it to them.

And I must admit that I read your story about the milk cup a few times to figure out exactly what happened. So funny!! That's something you wish happened while you were on the phone, just so someone else can hear you say that and know that it really happened. Love it!!

Shannon said...

Laughing and crying!

todd & nicole said...

I'm just glad it's not just my little boy that likes to run around naked.

Anonymous said...

This post gives new meaning to "dressing for dinner!"

xoxo Grammy

Goeb Life said...

Hysterical!

Corinne said...

this post actually made me snort with laughter. the last paragraph. oh, thank you.