Stupid human tricks

It seems in my old age my plumbing has gone awry.  Apparently I've sprung a leak and can squeeze milk out of my armpit. 

Nope, you're not any better off knowing that.  :)   But I do wonder if there's a market for special people like me.  :) 

This is what I expected

Yesterday I was out the door for church an hour late, with orange hair (a mishap from the night before I didn't really have time to fix), I actually hadn't prepared my church lesson (gasp - I know my husband never prepares a lesson in his life, but that is so not my style) and I slid my way into class without a second to spare. I then realized that my hot rollers (that never actually made it into my hair) were still plugged in 30 minutes away at our house that I had left covered in a mess of clothes that hadn't fit.  Sigh.

 Before I had children, someone once told me, "Motherhood is a great equalizer."

I hadn't fully understood what she meant until I had children.  Once I had my first, I got the message loud and clear - if you think you're on top of your game, give motherhood a shot.

I remember after having our first how much I'd look around at other moms thinking - wow, I know exactly what you went through to get out the door this morning, and having all new appreciation for them. I also felt slightly deceived at first as well - why didn't any of you warn me what my body was going to go through?!?  You all act like this is OK??? But yes, suddenly I wasn't breezing out the door by myself in the morning, looking all coiffed and polished, going the extra mile for everything, getting paychecks and traveling on airplanes and feeling like I had it together. Suddenly my life, my body, and so many other things felt out of my control. But I knew I was on the same footing as every other mom out there.

I think I've been reflecting on this as I've hit that point with a new baby where exhaustion starts to win out over euphoria, I realize I never get anything done, my beautiful baby is covered with cradle cap and baby acne, and every time I sit down I have to tuck the overhang back into the maternity pants I wish I could say I wasn't still wearing.

And I realized, boy, have I embraced this lifestyle of total imperfection or what? 

It's probably a good thing. (Although I always figure if I take a few decent pictures, touch them up and throw them on the blog, people will just assume I'm on top of my game. Is it working?  :) 

The fact of the matter is that I am not going to be walking around my house on an average day wearing a stylish ensemble from Anthropologie, I will probably not be doing crafts with my kids, sewing my own curtains, throwing super-themed dinner parties for my friends, or making cute handouts for my next church lesson.

The reality is that I will probably be late, I will probably forget one or many things I was supposed to bring with me, do for you or take to my child's school that day; at some point and to your horror, one of my children will probably eat something off the ground without a word of discouragement from me, I will probably smell like spit-up, my kids will probably watch too much tv and eat too much sugar, and one or all of my children may not be wearing shoes at any given time.

Yep. I'm getting pretty used to it.

And then I smiled today when my aunt (thanks Susie!) sent me an article by April Perry that reinforced my thoughts exactly and helped me gear up for tomorrow - when my mom leaves.(Yikes.)

"How we feel about our lives depends on the relationship between our expectations and our realities. One way we can understand our potential and the nature of family life is to accept the fact that the world is made up of opposites. If it seems like the world is against us some days, and that we’ll never “reach our potential” or create the “perfect” family life, that’s okay. In order to enjoy the good, we need to experience the bad.

We wouldn’t know how beautiful an entire eight hours of undisturbed sleep is if we hadn’t had nights where we saw the clock change every single hour. When we become mothers, we need to expect opposites and realize that we have the capacity to grow and nurture our families—even when times are tough.

If you wake up in the morning saying, “Well, I know I’ve got my work cut out for me today. Hard things are definitely going to come my way, but with the help of Providence, I am ready for them,” then when hard times DO come, you think, “This is what I expected. And look what a great job I am doing!”

On the other hand, if you wake up thinking, “Today better be less crazy than yesterday. This is my itinerary, this is what I need to get done, this is what I want to happen, and if anyone gets in my way, there’s going to be heck to pay!”, then when the challenges come, we scream, “I've been cheated! Today turned out horribly! This wasn’t supposed to happen!”

I know that I’ve been guilty of these misplaced expectations. I’ve made the overflowing to-do list and been upset when nothing got checked off. I’ve been surprised when I went to the store with three little children and didn’t get complete cooperation.I’ve also been frustrated when the house turned into a pit on a day I was babysitting four other children. What on earth was I thinking when I hoped for anything different?

Now I think like this: “Expect the worst, and be happy if things don’t get there. It’s okay for some things to be mediocre.When my expectations are realistic—not low, not “giving up,” I start to see my potential in a totally different light."

I love that - this is what I expected. And this is what I chose.  So yes, expectations will be pretty low around here for a while. (Ok, and have been for, oh, like 3 or 4 years.  :)  But I'm going to try to just enjoy it.

You can stay this way

I thought that I was enjoying the baby stage so much this time because this baby is a better newborn compared to the others as newborns. Then one day I was sitting there as two children were throwing screaming tantrums in their beds or in time-out, and the other was throwing toys all over the house and making a mess of everything - and it dawned on me.  Nope, I enjoy the newborn stage this time because I know what can happen when they grow up.  :)  Yep, no talking-back, no tantrums, no sassy and defiant attitudes.... I don't know why we didn't appreciate the baby stage before. :)   I guess this time it's the contrast that makes it apparent.

Actually my kids are great, but it's like that poem - There was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead.  And when she was good she was very, very good, but when she was bad, she was horrid.  Amen to that.  The boys are so sweet and love to fight over who can show the coolest toy to the baby, they all say the funniest things, and I love their little personalities.  But darn if they can't be stubborn and miserable and fight ALL day long.  I went to the park for the first time by myself with all 4 yesterday and had to drag Ashton barefoot and screaming bloody murder all the way home while steering the stroller with the other.  Really? I couldn't look half-way in control at least once in front of the whole neighborhood?

While my sister was here Ryan and I managed to go out to a movie.  When we left the house I asked what keys he had.  When he said the Xterra and saw my face, he said, "What, you want a hot date on the town in the minivan?"  Which I did, and so did he.  Such a cooler car.  Anyhow, then we went to a movie. We got in there late and couldn't buy tickets at the kiosk, so we went up a few floors to where the movie was showing so I could ask the ticket guy if it was sold out, or if we couldn't buy tickets because it was after the show had started. He didn't know which but let me go in and check as long as Ryan stayed out there.  I came out and told Ryan there were only seats in the front two rows.  I tried to turn on my sweet side and then asked the guy if we couldn't just go in since there were only bad seats left anyway and we weren't able to buy tickets. He didn't look amused by my proposal.  I tried to butter him up further telling him we were out for my husband's birthday.  He said he didn't know if it was really his birthday or not. I said it was a few days earlier but we were just celebrating now.  And then added that it was because I had a baby last week and was out for my first time.  He then looked at my midsection skeptically (I had on loose clothes, not a flat stomach, don't worry), at which point I grabbed the excess belly skin in proof.  At that point he waved us in - with a look like, "Awwww, seriously lady?  Do we have to go there?  I'm an innocent teenage boy.... having to look at some lady's post-baby fat is so not in my job description...."   So there you have it.  If you ever want to get something free, just start getting into postpartum issues with a teenage boy and he'll do whatever he can to get out of that conversation ASAP.   :)

Week one

So we actually brought our two new babies home same day, this being the other one:

(I know, I should have got a glistening in the sun by the ocean photo for better effect.)  But she's a beauty.  And so technologically savvy.

Actually how it happened was I just got home from the hospital.  Within about 5 minutes Ryan told me he had to go pick up the new car and he was leaving me with all the kids - for about 4-5 hours since he'd have to take the train down to get it since we couldn't all fit in our car - and he couldn't take all the car seats with him, so all the kids were staying with me.  So much for easing back into things and into life with 4 kids!  Within a couple of hours I called and told him I was about to pass out and we would be watching tv for the rest of the night. :)

Then Monday Ryan went back to work and I was by myself for two days until my sister got here.  When Ryan got home, his comments were all about how tired he was and how there are so many demands on him at work. (Like I would feel sympathetic for him???)  It was even funnier because, I told him, "I just read in my book today that 'preschoolers typically demand that their caretakers deal with some kind of need or desire at an average rate of three times a minute.' And I have three of them. Plus a newborn."  Yeah, top that Mr. work-is-so hard.  :)

That must be why one of the highlights of last week was when a nice friend dropped off some food for dinner - the boys and Ryan were out at the moment, and before they came back, I hurried and piled up my own plate, sat on the couch and watched entertainment tv while I ate my dinner - all by myself.  It is so rare that I eat anything that I haven't had to prepare myself, and then to sit and actually enjoy it without having to fight over it and feed a whole table full of other mouths was seriously a heavenly few minutes.

I also had to laugh when he came home because he got home really late that night and was telling me good job that I even had the kids all in their pajamas on my first day alone.  I should have gracefully accepted the compliment, only I couldn't hide my smile - that we really never got out of our pajamas that day.

I still am loving the baby stage this time so much more than with my others.  He's a great baby, plus I'm sure I just get it better than I did with the others. And he spends much of his time like this:




Typically Ryan and I can't wait for the baby phase to be over (mostly so we can just get some sleep), but this time I don't want him to grow out of it!  It's so much fun. And messy.  Man, I forgot how messy babies are.  I've had explosive poops all over me, multiple pees on the couch, lots of clothes of mine in the wash with spit up on them, and complete wardrobe changes with every diaper.

Now if only Phoenix didn't get a raging case of pink eye the day after we came home from the hospital life would really be great.  And now he has a fever and is throwing up.  Awesome.  That's the only real misery right now is my paranoia about the baby getting it. 



But we've had great people bringing food, helping take Cash to school, picking up things for me at the store - and even a friend who cleaned my house for me when I was 9 months pregnant.  (If you want to give someone a good present - that would be it.)  Everyone has been great.

Poor Ryan gets the shaft though having a birthday right after our babies.  I had good intentions, really.... sorry hubby. At least  you got a full night's sleep for your birthday!  Value wise, that's really a pretty hot commodity if you think about it....

Speaking of which, I am so tired that every time I wake up I have two overwhelming emotions.  Where in the heck am I????  Is always the first thing that comes to mind. I just crash so hard I have no idea where I am or what I should be doing, sometimes I even wonder if I'm still in college.  Then the second is when I remember where I am and go into complete panic about where in the world is the baby and have I slept for 5 hours and totally forgotten about him?????  Bizarre.  Speaking of sleep, do other people wake their babies up in the night to feed them?  I asked a friend the other day how long you have to keep up this feed every 2-3 hours business since I'm so tired.  She was like, "You mean, you wake your babies up at night?"  I was like, um....I thought I was supposed to.  Isn't that what they have you do in the hospital?  But then it sounded a little ridiculous to me too, like yeah, why would I really be doing that in the middle of the night?




Here's Cash "reading" a book to the baby - showing him photos of when he was a baby and telling Diesel how much he looks like him.  :)







And a few awake photos:




Little Diesel even had his first face-time on the iPhone the other night.  Man, my kids get more advanced each time.

Diesel Knox Isom

 

2/20/2011   9:25pm   8lbs 12oz   21 in

Finally some pictures!  Everything is great here!  Got induced Sunday in a rather slow-going process.  Usually I go in, they break my water, give me pitocin and the babies come out within a few hours.  This doc was pretty conservative - he started me off, put some pill in to get things going and said, "Ok, I'll come check on you in 4 hours."  My mouth fell open and I was like, "What? I thought this thing was going to be OVER in 4 hours!"  So after that first 4 hours I had dilated all the way from a 1 to a 2.  Oh brother.  So then he started pitocin, but still didn't break my water.  After another 3 hours or so, I had gone from a 2 to a 3.  I was dying.  So then he broke my water and I started having good contractions, enough to get myself an epidural, and after another 3+ hours he came in around 8:20pm and I had dilated from a 3 to a 4.  Now I was really dying!!  

At that point we started to worry that we were doing the wrong thing and trying to force out some baby that just wasn't ready.  That morning some resident had checked me and measured the baby as pretty small and told me it wasn't going to be more than 7 pounds (shows how much she knows) - and then Ryan was starting to question if I was sure I'd calculated my dates right.... So then we're wondering if we're trying to force out some runt that wasn't even ready....

So anyway, after the doctor left when I was at a 4, I called Ryan who had gone home to help put the kids to bed and sadly told him to just wait around at home and I'd just call him when something started happening since we'd had nice friends watching our kids all day and nothing had happened yet.  Later I checked the times on my phone - 12 minutes after that call, I called Ryan to tell him he better get back to the hospital - now.  Seriously, 10 hours to get from a 1 to a 4, and then 12 minutes to get to a 10.  Sheesh.  The nurse was in serious disbelief when I called her in - since everyone had left me alone at that point, Ryan was gone, and the doctor had gone over to another hospital to do consults.  (And my epidural had just stopped working on the whole right side of my body which I wasn't happy about.) She was like, "but he just checked you and you were a 4."  I was like, "I know, that's why I feel stupid, but I really think something is going on!"  So she went and found a resident, had them come in, and the resident was also in disbelief and said, "If you really are already at a 10, that would be like the fastest 4 to 10 in history."  She checked me and was like, "Ok, I guess I'm going to go page the doctor!"  So after she paged him she asked if I wanted to start pushing and I said I really kind of wanted to wait for my husband.  So Ryan made it, then I waited for the doctor - so I was sitting there at a 10 waiting to push for over 30 minutes!  It was pretty funny, but at least it added some excitement I guess. We were laughing at this planned induction business since we've never done it before. It was pretty weird to wake up and have the kids say, "Where are you going?" and to be like, "Oh, I'm going to have a baby. See you later!"  Anyhow, the baby came out with one contraction and it was all smooth.  I even felt kind of proud when Ryan told me it was my best delivery yet.  :)

Cash's reaction when we brought the baby over for him to see was super cute and he's been great with the baby, trying to talk to it in a cute baby voice. 

The twins were pretty much like this:     :)

Although every once in a while we can get them to acknowledge him.  Hasn't seemed to rock anyone's world too much so far. (And frankly our kids aren't used to getting that much attention from us anyway.  :)

The boys spent most of the time at the hospital like this.

The first thing I said was that I was so happy he came out with dark hair!  And he looks so much like Cash did, which makes me happy.  Now we can have two of each.

Naming the baby was a bit of drama. Every time the lady came in I told her we didn't have a name yet and to come back.  She finally said, "I leave at 3:30 today, and I need it by then."  I told her to come back at 3.  She came at 3.  We told her to come back at 3:15.  I wanted to name him Knox, Ryan (and the twins) wanted Diesel, and Cash really really wanted Keaton. (I really liked Knox while I was reading 1776 back in the fall - from Henry Knox, one of Washington's generals.)  I said I wanted to just give him three names and we could all call him whatever we wanted.  Ryan wasn't up for that.  So she finally came back and we were still totally undecided. So I said, "You tell her the first name."  So Ryan said Diesel.  Then he said, "You tell her the middle name, and I said Knox.  So there you have it.  Diesel Knox.  Yes, I feel a little bad Cash's choice got left out, but next time I won't make the mistake of asking our kids opinions.  :)  

They kept us at the hospital an extra day - they kept saying we were such a late delivery they hadn't really had time to watch the baby for 48 hours plus he had had a lot of mucus and his bilirubin levels were too high. Funny, we delivered the same time with the twins on a Sunday night and I was begging for an extra day since I wasn't ready to go home with twins by myself yet and they refused!  This one I felt fine and they kept us.  Whatever.  Too bad I wasn't at the same hospital as last time with the hot tub and the massage therapist....

Ready to go home:

Seriously I can't believe how much fun #4 is.  I think the first is so stressful, we didn't know what we were doing, I was in lots of pain everywhere, nursing was complicated, he was colicky....then with the twins there were just two and everything was complicated and exhausting.  By #4 I may actually be getting the hang of this enough to just enjoy it!  I'm not usually a huge one to dote on babies, but I could sit around and stare and cuddle this little guy all day.  It is really SO fun. I'm blissfully happy. And tired.  :)

Now if only I can avoid getting staph infections, yeast infections, plumeting estrogen levels causing menopausal symptoms, mastitis, blocked ducts, open wounds, and herniated discs (all which have happened with my past babies)...then I will really consider this my best delivery yet.  :)

(Delivering at my inner-city hospital is probably another story in itself, but hey, it's always comforting to have an exterminator called in to visit your room while you're there, right?)

Things I will miss about this pregnancy

Yes, there are actually some things I may miss about being pregnant. And just to be warned, there's a fill of belly shots in this post.

Strange as it is, I will actually miss my pregnant body. I really think I like my pregnant body more than my non-pregnant body because it is actually how it's supposed to be then. Curvy where it should be curvy (and where it usually isn't) and even if I have a big belly, at least it's firm, which will not be the case in a matter of days.  And all that excess skin that stretches forward to accomodate my growing belly will spring back into love handle position as soon as this baby is out. Blech.

I will also miss not necessarily my pregnancy cravings, but more like the foods I've been addicted to with this kid which will always remind me of this pregnancy. I took a serious loving to fresh tomatoes and mozzarella. I salt and pepper the tomatoes and then put them with a big slice of mozzarella- I get a kind from Costco, not actually a fresh mozzarella, which would be better, but this one is pretty darn moist and good. And then after weeks of eating this on a daily basis I realized the package said "whole milk mozzarella" and it finally occurred to me - oh, that's why it's so good. Isn't most the kind we get part skim?  Oh well, eat on.

And granola. I had a couple friends get me into making my own granola recently, and while I think it may actually be pretty calorically dense, I love all the good stuff I get to put in it - flax seed, wheat germ, powdered milk for some extra protein, sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, nuts, whatever.  And so I eat it all the time.  And now I love seeing what I can eat it with. Besides eating it for breakfast every day, my afternoon snack has taken me through gallons of vanilla yogurt with granola in it. I've made layered parfaits with yogurt, granola and fresh fruits that have been fabulous. Some of my staples have been yogurt, granola and one of the following... chocolate chips, m&ms, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, or my new favorite - pomegranates.   Mmmmm.  My latest batch is in the oven as we speak.

I will also miss the strange fact that my leg hair doesn't grow much while I'm pregnant.  Random, but the awkward-to-bend-over-belly appreciates it.

 I will miss my kids shaking my belly to get my attention. I guess it used to be my leg or something, but once I looked at that picture of my shadow with Phoenix standing there I had to laugh when I realized exactly what they see so prominently at their eye level.  No wonder the belly shake is the chosen mode of attention-getting right now.

And sleep. I've remarkably well considering my condition, and I think I've even trained myself to ignore the bladder enough to stay in bed the whole night.

But I know it's time to have the baby because every time it's my last Sunday at church before having a baby, I get a ridiculous and uncharacteristic amount of gawking and comments on my belly.  This has happened every pregnancy. Eyes follow my belly as I walk into any room, everyone gives you the you're still here? look, people comment on how huge I am, and those who know enough not to tell me how big I am give me the sympathetic smile that says, "oh, you look huge and uncomfortable, but I have enough tact not to tell you that...."






I walked into the gym for the last time the other day with my two pregnant friends, all three of us due within about the next 2 weeks. (The three of us on the left are the gym-goers - disregard the grossness of an after-gym picture, and ignore the skinny girl on the right who claims to be 24 weeks pregnant. :) We dropped our kids off at the kids club and then walked out and I said to the others, "Look, that trainer is totally laughing at us."  Then I looked up to the sea of aerobic machines in front of us and said, "Um, no.  Everyone is laughing at us!"  Seriously, 90% of the gym was staring at these three ridiculously pregnant women walking in the gym.  We must be quite the sight. They must think we have some maternity fit club or something. That's why I'm at least glad I got to work out with them for the last couple months - to at least distribute the stares among all of us.  :)  Too bad all that working out hasn't sent me into labor yet!

I will say that this muscle or ligament at the top of my belly protrusion that seems to be saying "I can't hold it any longer!!!" - is about enough to get me past the terror of having a baby. And the fact that I've had the worst back pain with this one that I have with any of my pregnancies. But even with all that, I have to admit I'm not in dire condition dying to get this baby out like I was with the twins. Thank heavens I don't feel like I did last time at the end. Just to really give myself something to appreciate at the uncomfortable end, I decided I had to have some comparison, so once again, love or hate them, here's a belly shot - twins on the left, #4 on the right:

I'm not sure it's a totally fair comparison since the one of the twins was probably 36 or 37 weeks, not 39.5 like this time, but it does give one something to appreciate.  :)

Birthday

We had  such a fun birthday party for the twins on Saturday.







(Ok, some people still managed to be grumpy for some of it, of course.)

And it's miraculous to say it was so fun since by weather standards it was a total disaster!  I don't understand why their birthday is destined to be rained out every year!  But at least it wasn't quite as much of a disaster as last year.  But seriously, it was a freakishly cold day - the coldest in over a month, and when the first guest pulled up to the park at 9:30 - it started raining.  And rained for two hours - until we pulled out of the park to leave.  Just my luck. Thank goodness I had decided to do it at the only park with a fully covered pavilion that I even know of, so we toughed out the cold and partied on.


The twins wanted a Diego party so I did my best on an attempted jungle cake and set up an animal rescue mission for the kids to go on (not exactly how I'd planned with the weather but we improvised).  We had to find and rescue baby bunny who was stuck in a tree, which involved following the map, figuring out directions, getting the bunny out of the tree and doctoring up his wounds, and figuring out which animal tracks to follow to get him back to his mommy.  Since no Diego adventure would be complete without it, we had tools (magnifying glasses, compass rings, whistles, etc.) to help us rescue the bunny in everyone's Rescue Packs:

Then throw on some Diego music and a bubble machine and who knew kids could be entertained for so long?  Guess that's the beauty of a rainy day.

(Although some people are entertained by lesser means.)

 

 

(Almost had some eyelash singe on the candle blowing.) 

And there's only one real way to eat your birthday cake, of course.

Anyway, I can't believe we have so many great friends that braved the rain and 50 degree weather to have our party with us - it made it memorable at least!  

Enjoying their presents:

Phew. Thank heavens the twos are over.  That was a rough year.

*And no one tell them their birthday is really on the 24th, as far as they know it's over and done (before this baby comes along!  :)

Silhouette

I caught a glimpse of my shadow the other day.  It seemed to say a lot.



































And it said it much more politely than did the pictures of me at the beach.  :)

Cash

I love that Cash seems to have inherited my disability for determining song lyrics.  I still get made fun of by Ryan for singing along to a song with totally wrong words that make no sense at all.  The other day I had Cash unloading the silverware and as he was putting a butter knife in the drawer I heard him sing, "like a knife at night," instantly recognizing the tune as "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz (the line he was singing is supposed to be like it's dynamite).  I had no idea he knew that song!  We listen to the radio, but it wasn't one we necessarily play a lot or have around our house. So I was quite amused as he continued and all the lyrics related to things he knows.  So instead of  Sayin' ay-o, gotta let go, it comes out as "Say Diego, got a Lego...."  Love it.

Then when we went to the hockey game, the kids first heard "We Will Rock You" by Queen and became instant fans.  Although this fondness was first discovered when we kept hearing him sing, "Feed the, feed the rocket.  Rocket."   Because why wouldn't that make more sense to a 4 year-old than we will rock you?  Even Phoenix has stood up on the bench and done a lovely rendition of this in the middle of sacrament meeting.  Awesome.

In fact just to test my theory that they're picking up more than I realize, the other day I started out the Rhianna song, "Oh, na na..." and then stopped, and all three kids filled in, "...what's my name..."   Great. Makes me realize I better watch what we listen to around here since you never know what may come out during sacrament meeting.  :)

And I had to document the first, "Look mom! I drew a picture of you!"  This was one he drew a few months back.  At the time, I'd never seen him draw a person or a stick figure (let alone one of us), and he'd never really discussed my pregnant condition, so I had to laugh when out of nowhere he drew this picture of me:

So proud that my girth was such an inspiration. 

Cash is doing great in school, can read quite a bit, knows when all the kids birthdays are at school, and is already sad for next year when he'll have to miss all his friend's birthdays since he'll be going to another school. He asks me cute things like "When I'm 10 years old will I still be your kid?"  And says he doesn't want to become and old man or have body hair that makes him look like a monkey like dad. Or when I put on my fat pants for the billionth time during this pregnancy he says, "Why do you have to wear those pants every day?!?!?" He's also sad that when he's 5 he won't be home for naps (even though he rarely takes them).  Darn that all-day kindergarten in Miami.  Now we're just waiting to see if we happen to get the lottery for any of the schools we're trying to get him in. Stress.

Baby ramblings

I have lots of contractions. This could get me excited until I remember that I had up to 60 a day with the twins for 6 weeks and it obviously meant nothing. And when I sometimes let myself think - hmm, maybe I'll go early like at 37 weeks or something, and then I realize - I didn't even go that early with twins,  so yeah, I better gear up to be in this for the long haul.

Although I did go into my doctor this week and at the end he said, "I want you to rest as much as possible the rest of the time."  I blinked my eyes a few times and sat in confused silence for a minute before I said, "What?" As if trying to confirm that he just told a mother of three little boys who has had a totally normal pregnancy that she should seriously try to rest the duration of her pregnancy. He said, "Why? Are you doing anything that's not restful?"  (Like living my every day life?)  "Um, I went to spin yesterday," I finally said. To which I was given a strict injunction not to spin anymore and not to exercise anymore for that matter. I was a little bugged. I'm all about doing what's healthy for the baby, but there's nothing unhealthy about exercising while you're pregnant and I have no complications. And I've been doing it the whole time and actually attribute my feeling pretty good during this pregnancy to it. When I asked why, he said it was because my cervix was starting to soften and since I'm already having contractions he didn't want me delivering for at least another week or two. I told him I've been having these contractions for 6 weeks and I had them for like 2 months with the twins and still went to almost 38 weeks with them.  He said, "Well, I bet you were doing spin when you were pregnant with them."  Point taken.  I was laying on the couch like a beached whale for months with them. Anyhow, whatever. I decided to swim today rather than go to my usual Friday step class.

So last week I was given last minute notice that we were once again invited to the fancy gala in West Palm Beach this year - when I will be about 38 weeks pregnant.  Lovely. Last year I both had a dress and was skinny when I found out we weren't invited. Seriously? So here I am thinking - I'm going to have to buy an evening gown that can be worn nine months pregnant? Bet I'm going to get a lot of mileage out of that one in the future....
    Besides, where on earth do I find a dress?  When I was complaining about having to be seen out in public that big and pregnant while trying to look composed next to all these other swanky (and skinny) people, I loved my friend's advice - "just go, have a great time....and don't take any pictures."

* Well, since I started writing this post a few days ago, I have found out that we are actually not invited anymore, and believe it or not I was slightly disappointed.  Who knew I would find a cool British designer that actually had some decent maternity gowns?  So just imagine me all dolled up in this (waddling around some swanky event in West Palm Beach).







I also really like this dress, although it maybe wouldn't have been dressy enough for the event and too bad there's no sense in buying it now.

So alas, no importing a cool British dress to drape my largely pregnant self in to wear to a fancy ball.


In other news, I did manage to see the, er, lovely inner city hospital where I will be delivering (the one upon first seeing where Ryan was working I immediately said, "We are never having children here."  Then I followed that statement with - "and when you come home at night you drop your clothes at the door and head straight for the shower.") But I actually don't think it will be so bad.  I asked the nurse about it while we were there and she said if I was a resident's wife I would get a private room.  Well, that's better than my first delivery.  And she said I might even get a suite.  And hey, I figure if you're the only white baby in the hospital it's probably pretty hard for someone to steal off with your baby, right? Anyway, I have heard though that it's a very skilled facility, so if there's something wrong with your baby, that's where you want to be.  If you want a glass of water though, get it yourself.

And now I'm just getting a bit anxious about the disposition of this child.  I would say I hope for an easy baby, but I've never had one of those, so I don't plan on it. And my life never works along those "should happen" lines, so I will plan on another colicky child since at least it's not twins.  For a while I was thinking this baby wasn't as active in the womb as my others and was taking that to hopefully mean he would be a mellow child. I was basing that on the fact that I knew even before the twins were born that Phoenix was going to be my trouble maker. He was always more crazy and active in the womb and I've pretty much been one step behind him since then. But since Christmas this child has proven me wrong and now seems to be the craziest child I've had in the womb yet.  I'm surprised people don't worry that I'm having epileptic fits with how much my body shakes while I'm just sitting there.

Having watched my neighbor's baby a couple of times now, I realize our house is a bit hazardous for babies. Objects fly, bodies fling, and really, I'm going to have to have lots of safety zones to keep this child from getting clobbered. I'm not even sure a play yard would do the trick since I have no doubt numerous dangerous objects would manage to make their way in.  So I'm also back to accumulating baby restraining devices since we gave everything away last time for the sake of my sanity since we have no space here so I would have been living on top of two swings, two bouncy seats, etc.

Enough random and disconnected thoughts for now. Time for a nap before the crazies all wake up.