Ha. I just re-discovered this article I found about Miami before we moved here. It's even more funny and spot-on now that we've actually lived here. In honor of gearing up for two more years here, I thought I'd post it again:
MIAMI IS IN NO UNCERTIAN TERMS NOT LIKE MOVING TO ANY OTHER CITY IN THE US. Heck, it isn’t even moving to the U.S. What you must understand is that if you are from another part of the country, no matter if it’s some self-proclaimed “melting pot” like New York or LA or Dallas, you will experience culture shock when you cross the Dade County Line.
So buckle up and don’t unpack too much, because without the proper instruction you, like so many Americans who think this might be a fun place to live, will not make it through your first year.
I am not going to make it sound like this is an awful place to live, but you have to have the right mindset in order to survive in this city. It is not the fast-paced, competitive mindset of New York, or the laid-back mindset of LA, but more the frenetic, anything goes mindset of, oh, say, El Salvador.
If you are young and single, there is no greater city to live. People in your demographic are really the only sane people who should ever consider moving here.
Married, people, seriously, Miami is not the town for you. I’m sure you are a very nice couple, possibly with very nice kids, but that is precisely why you should avoid this place like your mother-in-law on Christmas. I can almost promise you that your family will be worse off for having moved here.
Typically the only people who decide to begin a new life in Miami arrive by raft, but if for some unknown reason you thought moving to a city full of sex, drugs and corruption was a good idea for a young married couple, then Bienvenidos!