Tuesday, December 9, 2008

All I want for Christmas

Sorry. Sick kids + sick mom + husband always on call = lame blogging. Seriously, I was excited when I was thinking that last Saturday was finally a day off for Ryan (he was on call - for him meaning in the hospital - most of Thanksgiving weekend, that Sunday, this past Sunday...), until I realized he was on call Friday night and only got home around 9:30 Saturday morning. Which really means that his "day off" was dedicated to sleeping.

Which leads me to my next point. I pride myself in the fact that we still manage to be pretty frugal. We only have one car, we rarely buy our kids toys, I know nothing but buying things on sale, we all know I'm a WalMart regular, and yes, I'm even starting to appreciate the fact that we have no matching bedroom furniture and the only thing at the head of our bed is a massive folded up box that Ryan is hesitant to get rid of before the next move because it holds the elliptical machine. Having said that, is it so wrong that all I want for Christmas this year is this:



Because let's face it, I really am slowly losing my mind.

I figure the whole getting a little babysitter to help out didn't work, so why can't I at least get someone to come clean? And really, I'd be happy with just like once a month. All day I seem to look forward to 8pm when the kids are in bed. But then 8pm comes, and all I do is pick up the house and clean and get anything done that has to be done that I can't get done during the day because I swear I am always feeding someone - and then it's basically time to go to bed. And I'm exhausted. And I haven't even really cleaned. I've just tried to un-do everything that happens after a day full of little kids.


I've been trying to evaluate how I'm doing lately and I remembered talking to another resident's wife before I moved here and one phrase she said seemed to hurl itself back into my mind: Looking back, I probably should have been on medication or something that first year.

Hmm. Later I think she did say she should have gotten some help with the kids or around the house. And to further rationalize my point, next year (meaning starting in July) is supposed to be a little better. So why can't we try this for 6 months and see how it goes? See if I'm suddenly lounging around in bubblebaths after the kids are in bed most nights...

So Santa, I hope you're listening.

(And seriously, please tell me someone else has done this at some point. I can't be the only mom who just has to give in. Or maybe I can!)


By the way, do you have any idea how hard it is to find a normal picture of a maid on the internet? Sheesh. Just like when I was thinking about Halloween. I knew the babies were going to be lions, so I thought for Cash, hmm, maybe lion tamer? So I tried to search for some costumes or something to at least give me some ideas. Yeah, apparently lion tamer is not the kind of costume you find for a two year-old, and it is most frequently accompanied by phrases such as "burlesque"....

22 comments:

Goeb Life said...

lyI want one too! I would give up a lot in order to have a cleaning lady. I would never be able to afford it for how much we need it though!!! :) Hang in there.....

Goeb Life said...

Whoa, I think I screwed that up...I was typing my username and password and some of it ended up in the comment. :) I really can spell, at least most of the time.

Laura B. said...

You are not alone. I dream of getting cleaning help. My only problem is...they don't do clutter.
My life is characterized by one word...cluttered.
i hope Santa brings it to you. But I hope even more that 6 months from now you write and tell us how it changed your life. then, maybe I can justify it!

Angela said...

I am totally with you on this one. The only reason our house maintains a little bit of order now is because James is out of law school (when he was in law school, he never had time to help with anything), and since he has always been "the clean one" in any housing situation (even as a kid), he does a good job at setting aside time every Saturday morning to help me clean the house.

It would RARELY get done otherwise.

I hear you, having a husband who is gone ALL the time is so rough, and you just got extra lucky that your stars aligned so that you're in the first year of raising TWINS, AND a two year old during that first year. Ouch.

But I am also trying to figure out a way to get some temporary help when our baby comes in February. If someone would just come for half an hour every afternoon and start some dinner and pick up the house. . .

So if my vote counts, GET SOME HELP. Even if you go a little bit more into debt to do it, there are some things you just can't stay sane without.

Anonymous said...

Housekeeping helpers have saved my life on many an occasion, but last night I gave a large bridal shower and did all the work myself, after my other daughters decorated me for Christmas. My rule has always been, if I cannot get my house clean in one day by myself, it is sad!

When they come and save my life, I do not even seen them. I leave the key under the mat, leave the check on the cupboard, know they speak Spanish so I cannot direct them, trust them implicitly because I know the woman they work for and she and I have talked about what they will do. I then come home to a spotless house. I don't know how long they are there. I have never seen them. BUT, I have spent the previous 3 nights after work putting all the piles of papers away, etc., etc., wand taking care of the clutter.

P.S. I just ordered something else for you for Christmas. Sorry.

xoxocyhunsaker

Anonymous said...

P.P.S. But when I first went back to work, I thought I should deserve household help, checked into it, and found that they would make more than I did per hour!

Had to wait a few years.

xoxocyh

liz said...

you crack me up.

I hit the same wall exactly today. And I only have two at home. I think it might be time to review our budget a little more closely to see if someone can be in charge of the bathrooms/ kitchen floor and baseboards. Even if only once a month to get the deep cleaning I never seem to get too.

i love how honest you are in your writing.

Andrew said...

We have no kids and live in a shoebox but still have a lady come help us clean once a week. We both look forward to the days when we come home to our spotless house.

Melanie said...

Jen I hope santa brings you your wish! I know your on his "good" list! Trust me - the first thing Im doing when Jed starts fellowship is get cleaning help. I hate hate cleaning the same floors, toilets, counters day in and day out. I can do it cause I just have H but I still hate it. Now, Im saying this with the thought that cleaning help will be a nice luxery treat - you though; kind of sounds like you need it for sanity reasons. I think that is totally realistic. Taking care of your children's mother should be a priority! Happy mom - Happy kids.

Ty and Trista Swartzlander said...

I think every mother should have a housekeeper, especially an almost single mother of twins. Then you can spend your time mothering and not cleaning.

luann.jeff.simon.jack said...

Perfectly reasonable and practical wish. Jeff has promised me a cleaning lady when we are done with school...mostly because he passionately hates cleaning. I don't mind it, but I can't do it alone.

Susie said...

My friend who had twins (5th and 6th children) hired her newly married niece M-F 8-5 for the first year. I don't think that's too much! (Try not to be too envious.)
We got married a couple of weeks before Prince Charles and Princess Di and had our first two children at the same time. I used to tell myself that she had a full time cook, a full time nanny, her own lady in waiting, and who knows how many gardeners and maids. I was doing all those jobs by myself. Nobody can do it all well. The trouble is finding someoen to help!

SuburbiaMom said...

Maybe see if you can find a friend from church to swap kids with once a week for a few hours--you could get out of the house without the kids (and away from the mess) or maybe spot clean the house and sit and enjoy it for a few hours. I have four kids and even though the older ones are more able to help out I still get annoyed by the never-ending mess!

SSAS said...

GO FOR IT.

Anne Marie said...

A maid sounds perfectly reasonable...clearly you've been a very good girl this year (birthing and taking care of two kids plus one more is definitely more than enough for one person), so hopefully Santa will be listening. Hope everyone is feeling better soon. Medical school plus residency sounds absolutely, completely insane for any mama to endure.

mobykat said...

You definitely deserve it! With Jay and I both working, it is a lifesaver to have a lady come clean our house every two weeks. That way we don't spend our only free time cleaning. It is the best money I've ever spent! I found my cleaning lady through a friend, so I'd ask around. Also, a friend I have has a teen girl from the ward clean her place--it's a nice, cheap alternative.

BTW, we'll be in Utah this Christmas, so we'd love to get together with you, the Fords, Steve, and whoever else is in town if you're free :)

Tania said...

I would have suffocated my entire family in their sleep by now if we hadn't got a cleaning lady when I was pregnant with Jane.

We will have had her for 3 years this Feb, and I think by summer I may give her up (or cut down to every other week) now that the kids are getting bigger. It will be such a short period in your life (relatively) that you will need someone, and will make a big difference.

Laura's right - they don't do clutter - but that is so motivating for me. I know we have to have everything all put away every Monday night she she can clean on Tuesdays. Knowing it was ALL clean ALL AT ONCE on just one occasion does wonders for my sanity.

Motivating for my kids too, I tell them "You'd better put that away or Irene will vacuum it up!"

Stefanie Miller said...

Um, I would definitely not judge you for getting household help. Everyone is different, and each of us have different seasons of life, and this seems like one of those seasons that would merit a little outside help. James and Jan are different when it comes to clutter, and I've decided that is why our house always seems cluttered and Ang's house is always spotless (since I know Jan will never read this I am going to put that out. But to his credit, he is the one that cleans the bathrooms every week. But he also has an 8-5 M-F job). See? Everyone is so different. Just do what works for you!!

Tara said...

Go for it Jen!! I am sort of doing the same thing over here. We are moving in a week so instead of cleaning the house after we move our stuff out (there is nothing I hate more than the post move cleanup) I am paying the $100 fee to have them do it. Merry Christmas Tara! I should just clean and then get myself something nice but in all honesty I want this more. The joys of being a mom!

Sharon said...

are you still in Miami? when do you leave, I am hoping to see you at the Hanukkah party:)

Anonymous said...

Seriously I think any mom can relate to this. Wanting our homes to be cleaned but being too exhausted to get it all done. I recently was talking to a mom with 3 older children and saying how it was hard to keep a balance with it all, cleaning, playing with your kids and getting all the responsibilities done being a wife and mom. Her response was "let some of it go." She just said that once you do then it gets easier. Not to be dirty but realizing that it doesn't need to be perfect. That made me feel a little better. She was also saying that the dishes will always be there but the 3 year old who wants your attention won't.
I really try to remember this when I look around my home and it nags at me that things aren't all cleaned up.
Hang in there! Know you aren't alone! I think you are doing a great job and I love to read your blog because you don't sugarcoat things and that is so refreshing. :)

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