Tuesday, September 28, 2010

You Can't Always Get What you Want...

So I'm pregnant.

It's another boy.

I maybe cried.

Ok, I maybe broke into tears right there on the ultrasound table with no one there but the somewhat surprised ultrasound tech who just kept telling me God just wants me to have boys.

Well, that wasn't what I had in mind.

And yes, if you're wondering, I did mean to get pregnant.  I meant to get pregnant with a girl. I actually feel a little tricked. Everything that prompted me to have a baby had to do with the feeling that I was going to have a girl. It's not like I was just sitting around thinking my life was so easy and I had way too much spare time on my hands or anything. But I was willing to do it for all these things making me think it was going to be a girl. And seriously, I did my part. I conferred with my OB on how to increase your chances of getting a girl. I had my timing all figured out. I read every old wives tale possible. I consulted the Chinese calendar. So if somehow this boy made it through all that, he must be a fighter. Or really just meant to be, although I still have trouble conceding to that.

Oh, and even better: he's due February 24th - the twins' birthday.  

For all my strategic planning I don't know how I managed to miss that.  And Ryan's birthday is five days later. In fact, at that time within my family there are 8 birthdays within about a 2 week span. I seriously did not mean to put one more right in the middle of all that! February is going to break the bank in our house.

I must have some sort of statistical improbability fairy following me around because identical twin boys...four boys in a row with zero girls.... I don't know anyone my age personally who has four boys and no girls.

Ryan doesn't seem phased.

I am better off today than I was yesterday when I found out. I'll fill in the blank for you with really the only thing to say to me right now:  at least he's healthy.  I know. For that I am grateful.  At least we'll save all that money on weddings. And feminine supplies. (But make up for it with our food budget, emergency room bills and mission funds). Better 4 boys than 4 girls. You can always try for one more (and risk five boys?  I'm not sure about that one). Less drama, (more broken bones). I know, I know.

The idea of 4 grubby boys trailing after me just has yet to appeal to me.  One of my first thoughts was - I'm throwing out every character t-shirt we own.  If I have to have 4 boys they at least better dress like preppy little GAP boys or something so we don't look like a stinky bunch of hellions running around everywhere. But like I'll actually succeed in getting around the superhero phase. Or the stinky phase. Or ever getting any help in the kitchen.

Damn that Chinese calendar.

49 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, my gosh! How exciting! Maybe he will be late and come on my birthday - except it is not a leap year!

I am so thrilled, and predict that he will look just like Cash! Dark hair, dark brown eyes.

I'm glad I had B, G, B, G, G, so I got you - and you will be a wonderful mother to four boys!

xoxo Grammy

Angie said...

Congratulations and condolences.
A very good friend of mine has six. Six single birth boys. Another friend of mine has four. They are both younger than I am, but still probably a little older than you.

Give up on GAP boys. I don't think they exist in nature. Whenever I see beautifully attired little boys (for longer than church), I am instantly suspicious. Besides, if they trash a $4 Target t-shirt beyond salvage, it's a lot easier to get over than if they trash their $40 GAP button down. And you know as well as I do, there is always trashing. Daily trashing. My youngest would wear the same Mario t-shirt every day if I let him. On of my nephews would only wear "fast" shirts for a while (what made a shirt fast was not easily determinable). Boys are crazy and loud and messy and all about large muscle activities, but girls are so emotional and exhausting in far more explicable ways. Girls are fussier. You will find your own benefits and comparisons.

I think God is all about letting us believe His answers mean something if it will get us to do what is needful, when all along He knows things are meant to be drastically different. Or maybe He just knows that I personally can't necessarily be counted on to do what's needful if I actually know what's going to happen.

Tennille said...

Brooke and I have a friend from VA who just had her fourth boy--no girls. She seemed to have a rather positive attitude about the whole thing--something about raising righteous priesthood holders.

I'm still in shock that this is a planned pregnancy. You're very brave!

Congrats. :)

Chadlee said...

Wow - exciting news! I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well. You can always adopt a girl - or you can have a time share with mine :)

AnnaMarie Ferrell said...

Wow! Big news. No wonder you took that trip to Ireland! :) And at least he's healthy.

Melissa said...

I have laughed and laughed over this post. I love that you are just so straight with your posts. It's so refreshing that you say just how you feel. It makes me feel normal.
I'm sorry the baby isn't a girl. I completely understand the frustration of not getting what you want when you think it is what you thought was going to happen. --I thought the same thing about this last baby. Girl all the way and nope a boy. Congrats though and props to you for making the leap to four.

liz said...

the time share comment cracked me up.

I cried when I was NOT getting a third boy. I always dreamed of all boys. 4 of them. And I was crushed for a couple months when I had to accept she was a girl (#3). I kept thinking maybe a penis just had not grown yet and it would change by the end!

It wasn't what I imagined or hoped for, but I promise she was the soul we were supposed to get in our lives right now. she just came in a pink outfit instead of a blue one and by the time I met her all those feelings I had about wishing it was a boy were gone.

But it's okay if they take a while to wear away. At least you're honest about it! ;-)

And your friend is right- you are brave. When I was prego with 3rd people told me I was crazy- so be sure to correct people that tell you that and tell them you are actually BRAVE not crazy.

Megan said...

Congratulations! He will be your dream baby. He will sense your underlying sense of disappointment in his gender, and be oh so sweet to show you that yes, indeed you wanted another boy. I'm sure of it. Best kid yet!

Spar-Mar Girl said...

WOW! And here I sit at the opposite end of the spectrum-crying and sobbing that we're having girl #4. I kept telling myself that if we were going to get blindsided like this, it HAD to be a boy. All I can say is two things:
1. Life's little jokes are always funnier when happening to someone else.
2. Whoever says God doesn't have a sense of humor doesn't know Him very well.
I truly feel your pain and wish we were closer and could commiserate together. At least you know that you look FABULOUS!!!! Good luck.

Julie M. said...

Congrats!! Hello, you can't even tell your pregnant, Mrs. I've-had-3- kids! I'm super excited for you, and completely understand the crying. I cried for months when we found out we were pregnant with #3 (they are 14 months apart...oops). But, you're a great Mom and make such cute little boys. They'll have a blast playing together what fun to have all those brothers!

Richins Family said...

I've told you before: you are my hero. That's more true now than ever. I'm sorry you didn't get the girl you wanted, but that little boy is going to join the three others who are blessed and lucky enough to call you Mom.

P.S. I'l adopt the twins. Or at least take them for a few hours if you ever need a break.

The Spendloves said...

After our conversation yesterday I thought of another girl a couple of years older than us and she has 5 kids... First four were boys and then on the 5th she got her girl. I don't want to give you false hopes, but it's always possible, right?

But don't worry if it takes you some time to get used to the idea of another boy. I know you and I know you'll be ready for him when he gets here. And I promise not to tell him when he's older about how his mom cried when she found out he was a boy :)

I hope for your sake that what others have said will come to pass. Maybe you'll be shocked at how easy this one is because you know how to raise boys. That's what my cousin's wife, who is prego with boy #4, keeps saying. With a girl it would be all new territory. (Although as I sat and listened to my twins "scare" each other as lions, which just involves a lot of ear-piercing screams, I thought of you and shuddered at the thought of adding two more to the mix. New territory holds the possibility of quieter activities)

But I'm not worried. You can handle this. And just think, this kid will have so many clothes!! And two sets of a lot of things. Now that will come in handy!!

SuburbiaMom said...

That chinese calendar was wrong on 2 of my 4 kids...

Still--wowsers! Another little boy?!? Guess it is meant to be! I love your comment about saving on weddings and feminine supplies, but making up for it in missions and such.

You're going to be a wonderful mommy to this new little guy, too.

SuburbiaMom said...

P.S. I still dress my sons and there are no character clothes around here--understand you on that one!!!

Tyler Jorgenson said...

Well, congrats. You're only half way done right? Maybe you'll just end with 4 girls.

duck said...

He'll be beautiful in every way. Congrats!!!

kimber said...

I have another thing to say...at least it isn't twin boys, right?

I have a friend with 4 boys too (she thought about trying for another to get a girl, but has since decided against it).

I'm actually hoping for all boys, so if I get a girls someday, we can swap.

I was also going to say congratulations, but I'll save it for later.

LuAnn said...

I admire your honesty! It is refreshing. And your experience is exactly why I don't think I will try for one gender or the other. Trying to plan and control things takes too much of an emotional toll. But while saying that I think...but I want a girl so at least I should try. But then again I will be so happy with another boy. So in the end I anticipate I will resort to trusting that God already has a child waiting for me that already has a gender and whoever that child is I want him/her in my arms. You have, indeed, got me thinking about having one sooner. I'd have to be pregnant yesterday to have them 3 years (to the day...ha ha), but I need a few months at least. I love you! You are a great Mom. Oh and with the themey stuff...makes Simon way too happy. But I started stenciling animals on (that's all he cares about) and they are actually cute. Maybe I will make you a set of 4.

Love,
Lu

Richins Family said...

P.S. Adam says you and Ryan need to play the lottery. With your odds-beating, you'd win big. And then you'd be covered for all of the food, emergency room visits, and GAP clothes.

Julie said...

Just seconds ago at our house. . . "Dawson you are not going to believe this! Jennie is PREGNANT!!!" Our story got even better when we told Cory you were having another set of twin boys! See one isn't so bad! :) Congratulations. I can't believe how good you are with secrets!

Julie

Susan said...

Congratulations! I can't help but think of Jacob who got tricked into marrying Leah, but Rachel came!
Makes me think of when Stefanie got married and Angela went away to college. I felt so sorry for myself to be losing my daughters and be surrounded by males until we were driving back home after dropping Angela off at school. We got a flat tire on the freeway and the boys were so excited saying, "Cool!!! Let's change it!" Boys are good for something, too!

Julie said...

Guess that means a different car for your family! Wow! So exciting! I am married to a 4th boy and am so glad his mom had him! Actually I am a 4th, and neither you or Ryan would be here if your parents hadn't kept on going. So good job you guys on helping to populate the world! I am proud of you, seriously, parenthood is hard! Love you! So exciting!!!!!!

Jenilee said...

Jen Congrats! You are amazing. I hope you are feeling well with the pregnancy. We wanted a girl this time as well, but nope. It took me a good month or two at least to get excited for a boy. It will be fun to have boys together, now if we just lived closer they could play.:)

Anonymous said...

Way to get a rise out of your readers! Wow -- 23 posts in 24 hours. And several may not have posted, of course. We all love and admire you.

xoxoGrammy

Goeb Life said...

WOW! Honestly that is all that comes to mind right now.....and I am wondering if you are going to try for a fifth hoping for a girl?


Congrats!

Anne Marie said...

Congratulations!!!! I haven't commented in a long while but I dearly love to read the tales of your life. You are hilarious and have one of the best blogs that I know of.

Anyway, congrats on the fourth boy! I don't know if you recall but I am a mama of four boys, and I promise it's a lot better than it sounds. Ha! We're done having kids at this point, and there are times when I bitterly mourn that I have no daughter of my own, but when I hear about all the teenage drama that my friends' daughters put them through, I feel pretty good about the deal I got. Honestly, my household can handle only so much estrogen....I'm enough of a woman for this one family.

By the time your little guy is a few weeks old, you will be so in love with him you won't even want to change him in for a Sophie or Emma or Bella. He will be yours.

Just watch out for the comments random idiots will make to you about your crew. Just hold your head high. Those boys will adore you.

camille said...

I'm just excited for you to have ONE little baby. No matter what, it is bound to be easier than twins. Congratulations!

Lima Bean said...

wow. you keep a good secret. i also cried in the ultrasound room, but that was with boy #3. you're a brave woman. four future missionaries. i tell myself that all the time.

Gavin and Shawna said...

LOL!!!LOL!!! I can't stop...mostly because...this is totally me. I am almost sure we will go for #4 (if I can ;)) but I am almost sure it will be #4 boy. It must be the NYMC curse...the Hawes have 4 boys..we are on our way.
All joking aside...I am actually at the point boys are looking/sounding really good. Too much drama with girls.
As for me...I am pretty sure there is no #5 EVER in the plans (but with my luck...HFather would send twin boys to close out the account!)

Angela said...

Ahhhh!!! Wow!! I am speechless!!

Okay, I'm not. I was ONE HUNDRED percent sure Isaac would be a girl. I said I was only 95 percent just to not seem cocky. Like you, I felt I had had very direct spiritual promptings regarding the feminine gender of my bouncing baby boy. Funny ol' world. Well, there's always someone in the world who's had more baby boys in a row than you, but it's still okay to have to grieve a little bit. I think that's why ultrasounds are nice. You can really come to terms with who your baby is, and be excited to meet him by the time he comes. You will be.

Besides, ONE baby? Come on, this will be child's play for you guys. You'll be lounging on a chaise sipping lemonade for like, 4 hours a day I bet. ;)

Angela said...

p.s. Beth and Josh are always chanting to each other, "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit." Always a saying enjoyed much more by the person saying it than the person "getting what [he] gets." :)

Aurelia Thomas said...

wow! i can imagine how hard that must be. i am sure you will be a great mom. and thanks for being honest about it - so refreshing to read.

by the way, i absolutely LOVE your blog. you always make me laugh. whenever i see there is a post by you in my blog list (or whatever it's called - i'm new to blogging!) i get excited.

sorry - getting cheesy over here.

-jillana

Karen said...

ditto to everything everyone said... can i just add my two cents??? or 50???

during the time we were struggling trying to have more children, i came to terms with the fact that i might always be a "MOB"--mother of boys :o) and i became so happy in that role that when we found out we were finally expecting--and going to have a girl!!!--i was actually a little disappointed. i had created this image of myself in my mind of being a MOB that it was hard to switch over. but since she's come, i have NO doubt that she was meant to come to our family. you will come to know too... eventually.

my feeling is that you and ryan must be such good parents that God knew he could send these boys to you, that you would teach them what they need to learn to grow up and be strong, righteous men. we need them today so badly! take it as a compliment that Heavenly Father knew He could trust these great spirits of His to you guys... that might sound totally cheesy, but it's true :o)

and don't forget the last part of the title of your post "... but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need!" good luck, jen!!!

Karen said...

PS: you can totally expect help in the kitchen! my mother-in-law taught her boys so well--jeremy irons, bakes, and cleans better than i do :o) AND he will watch chick flicks with me...

you can decide how you want them to be. teach them how to do it, and they will!!! they'll be GREAT :o)

Virginia said...

Ahhhh!!!!!!! Laughing / crying...it's a very fine line at times, eh?

Love you, love your blog.

:)

Krista said...

Jenn...just think of it this way, You and Ryan make pretty stinkin cute boys. Why not have four handsome boys in the world that one day will marry and you will have 4 cute daughter in laws, you just get to skip all the emotional growing up years with them.

Congrats! btw, love all the wedding pictures...are you sure your expecting? you look too skinny.

Rochelle said...

Jen...congratulations! I was wrong about the gender of each of my three kiddos at the ultrasound. Especially with #3 it took awhile to get on board that I was having another boy. And now that we are thinking about #4 (are we crazy?)...I am hoping for a girl, but planning on boy #3. It is such a hard thing when you sort of had your life mapped out a certain way and wanted/hoped your family to look a certain way. I guess we know that things happen for a reason and I have no doubt you'll stare it straight in the face and know why eventually. Sure thinking of you. Must be really hard. Sorry for that. Go out and do something completely over the top girly. Hang in there. And I'm sure he'll be just as darling and cute as your other three! Four little Isom boys...so cute!

todd & nicole said...

I told Todd that if our next one was a boy it might be my last. I don't want to risk the chance of having 3 boys in a row. Boys might just be the death of me too and I only have 1. Good Luck, I'm sure he'll be adorable like your other three.

Coach said...

No matter how you think it or over-think it, the chances of getting a girl or boy: 50/50. If you've had ten boys and are pregnant again, the odds of it being a girl are: 50/50 Frustrating.

Ange Caldwell said...

Jen,
I just wanted to comment on a few of your remarks regarding the news of your baby boy and how some may find it offensive. You mentioned you didn't know anyone at "your age" who has had 4 boys... I didn't know anyone at "my age(27)" who was watching their daughter go through unbearable treatments for cancer and then still lose her in the end when she was 3 years old... I can also think of several girls "our age" who cannot have children and would give anything and EVERYTHING to have 4 boys! Life sometimes isn't fair Jen, but the bitter comments you have displayed for everyone to read are inappropriate and should be left in the privacy of one's personal journal.
Damn the Chinese calendar for being right 1/2 the time.

Music For Mito said...

Hey Jen,

we "tried" to make boys both times (using tips from a book we saw) and got girls both times... guess life just goes how it goes! good luck!

:) Katherine

Mike & Britt said...

You're the best Jen! Can't wait for another cute little Isom boy! (:

Shannon said...

Jenn I am so happy for you. When that girl comes she will be even more of a novelty. Man you are a nice looking pregnant woman. I am exploding by 12 weeks. You look fabulous in your Ireland photos. How nice for the two of you. Yes Laurie is the superwoman. I love when she comes to our house.

Melanie said...

First of all... the only person you can point the finger at is RYAN! He must lack girl genes! Try not to resent him forever. Second you have this boy thing down so at least there wont be any surpises! I would honestly be terrified to have a girl. Think of all the daughters you will have when the boys get married! Look on the bright side...there's only one! Do not fool yourself thinking that girls would dress nice - they get so hooked into pink and princess crap that instead of toy story and cars on every shirt you have little mermaid and butterflies. But I get it. Mommy's little helper and girly girly stuff. When the boys have girlfriends and wives you will be able to soak all the girliness.

Tania said...

CONGRATULATIONS!
You are insane! And very lucky. My sister (who just turned 32) is expecting her 4th boy next week. One of my other sisters had 4 boys by the time she was 26.

I was disappointed that Jane was a girl - I had really wanted 2 of each & it meant Jake wouldn't have a brother - and now I wouldn't trade her for the world and she & Jacob are as close as any 2 siblings I've seen - it all works out in the end!

Marci said...

I had a YW leader that had to put a banner on her house that announced, "Boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, it's a boy!" Yup, seven! And she was such a girly woman. So, yes, it could be worse! Congrats, I look forward to many more crazy stories that are bound to originate from your lively household, good luck!!

Allysha said...

Oh, Jen! I'm happy for you. And I'm sorry! Maybe your little girl is yet to come (I have a friend with many boys and a little girl as the caboose! But I realize that may Not be a comfort...) Hang in there. I'm sure he'll be a sweetheart.

Corinne said...

So, yeah. I'm a BIT behind on my blog reading - but here I am!! I only want to say congrats to you, because new babies are always exciting :)

Rachel said...

Jen -- I know I am late to this. I saw your comment on Facebook today about people telling you you are having a boy, and came to check out your blog, which I hadn't done in a while. It is always so entertaining, and this post was super entertaining as well. Congratulations. We really want our next baby to be a boy, so I have been reading up on how to increase those chances. And my dearest friend here in Denver just had her 4th boy. They are 8, 5, 3, and 5 months, and such cute boys. She definitely would LOVE a girl, but figures she knows how to do boys pretty well. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.