WAS I BAD IN ANOTHER LIFE OR SOMETHING?????
This has been another rough week. I wish I could tell you differently. Most of you should stop reading here because the rest is about nursing. And it's gory.
Last week I got some crater of a sore on my nipple. I didn't realize how bad it was (other than the swear words emitted every time someone latched on), until the babies started spitting up blood. Lots of it. Mine. So I had no choice but to pump. Sure enough, big drops of blood coming out. So I tried to adjust the pressure and do it lightly. I pumped for 24 hours. Fed again. More spitting up blood. Pumped for 48 more hours. Fed again. Still spitting it up. Pumped for 72 more hours. Fed again. Spitting up a lot of it.
No surprise with the open wound, that now I have full-blown, knock me out mastitis. AGAIN. So even if I decided now were the time to give up breastfeeding, I can't, because now I have to get the milk out to get the infection out.
I would say, they're 6 months old now. That's fine to stop. But truthfully, it's the only thing I can actually do well. The doctor who thought I was mentally unstable asked if nursing them was causing me stress. When I thought about it, I realized, "Actually no. It's the only thing I can do well. It's the only thing I can do at the same time, no one's crying, everyone's happy, and I can even have my hands free, which I can't always do with bottle feeding."
And off goes Ryan to be on call tonight. I can't actually even move. I appreciate the sympathy. I really just needed to vent.
At least I spared you the picture of the last bottle of red milk I just pumped.
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16 comments:
oh, I'm so sorry. Having never had mastitis, I don't think that I can fully grasp the pain, but ouch. and sorry that Ryan is at work. That makes it even worse. I hope you feel better soon!
I was in mortal fear last week that I was going to get mastitis and who needs to keep breastfeeding through an infection when they're trying to stop?! I can't believe you got it again--that's absolutely crazy. Hope it goes away quickly!
THat sounds awful. I have had it and its very painful...way to take one for the team. And that is NOT the only thing you do well. I will start naming if you so desire...
Jen, I like reading your blog, it makes me that much happier that I don't have kids. It's funny (to me anyway) that this post was about sore nipples because just last night I was reading a book where the mom talked about how no one told her that nursing would hurt. I'm glad that I can read the horrors through your blog to better equip myself for things to come.
I am SOOOO sorry! I've had mastitis, but nothing as bad as you've had. These are the moments you wish Mary Poppins was around to snap her fingers and be done with it.
Soooo sorry. I don't think I ever had it, or, happily, I have forgotten.
Your loving mother.cyh
I guess it is because you cannot turn them this way and that, and other than standing them on their ears. They must be in one position only to accommodate two darlings - and that is definitely what they are.
xoxocyh
Oh, I'm so sorry Jen. We just got internet back - it's been a while. I too had mastitis with Trey - but it was a mild case - no blood! You are one TOUGH cookie! I hope it goes away quickly for you and that you are feeling better soon.
And it is fun to actually have people want to come visit you, huh? None of our out of town family really found the "fun" in Milwaukee either! Dallas must be much more appealing to them! Take care and good luck
Oh Jen, Jen, Jen, that sucks. Honey you complain away, You've got plenty to gripe about. Them babies are so dang cute. Maybe it's time to make them pay off with the pictures. I had a friend that did childhood modeling she said it screwed her up so never mind. That blood in the bottle is probably making thier legs beefier.
you are a serious trooper. sometimes just the venting makes you feel better--emotionally. i can't help with the mastitis...
i can sympathize with the frustration of ryan's career choice. watching him walk out the door when you need him the most, knowing he has to go to work but still mad at him for leaving you in that state. rochelle always used to say: "the only way out is through." that phrase comes to mind often--keep your chin up, this too shall pass :o) you're amazing!!!
I'm REALLY sorry!! I've never had it that bad either. I hope it heals quickly, and no more spitting up. I bet that's fun to clean up, too! :(
Oh, Jen, I'm so sorry. You are amazing. Take it easy as much as you can.
I'm so sorry. I hope you get better soon. I wish I was there to help you.
that sucks. i hope you have a good vt and reliefe society cos it sounds like you need them on the spot!
that sucks feel better soon! I heard it's like having the flu
I just have to say I AM SO SORRY. I only had a clogged duct for 3 days (mind you, it was the three days I was in Utah for my grandpa's 90th birthday party) but it was HELL. I really hope you are feeling better.
I can't believe you can do this... you are my absolute idol. I had mastitis a few months ago and I swear I thought I was going to die... it puts throwing up for 9 months and hours and hours of labor to shame. I wish I could come and take your kids for a day. GOOD LUCK - SUPER MOM!!!!
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