Where else?

For those of you who wonder why I complain about this place rather than just leaving, let me just say I had very little say in the matter. Ryan will be the first to admit it. How could he pass up the chance to go to the number one ophthalmology program in the nation? Don't think I haven't tried to tell him he's gone so much that I don't think he would really notice if the kids and I went to Utah for at least this first year. There's a reason he's the only one in his year who's even married. People with families just don't come to Miami on purpose.

Anyhow. The Bascom Palmer Eye Institute. There are many reasons it's the top ophtho program. But I will tell you about one. Location, location, location. More specifically, Miami, Miami, Miami. Lots of old people, lots of poor people, and lots of, uh, interesting people. After only a couple weeks here and seeing numerous cases of the sort, one day Ryan comes home and muses, "Yeah, where else would you ever see so many patients who've been beaten with a baseball bat?"

Our next-door neighbor also happens to be an ophthalmology resident, 2 years ahead of Ryan. She told me the first year she lived here, she was the only one working Christmas day. Every single person that came in that day had been beaten, mugged, robbed, jumped in their cars, getting Christmas presents stolen, whatever. She finally called home to her parents and was like,"WHAT KIND OF INHUMANE SOCIETY DOES THIS TO PEOPLE??!?!? ON CHRISTMAS!!!!

Well, Saturday night Ryan and I were driving (alone! Our first movie this YEAR!), and he was telling me about a patient. I could not stop cracking up when I hear him saying, "Yeah, this guy came in who got hit in the eye with a brick. He said, 'I was just minding my own business...'"(apparently the residents are always making fun of that phrase because that's what they all say), "I was just minding my own business, when someone just came up and hit me in the eye with a brick." Then Ryan says, "But I'm not sure I believe him because he didn't even have a shirt on." All night I just kept busting up thinking about that: I'm not sure I believe him because he didn't even have a shirt on.

And by no means are these isolated events. Another resident had a patient with a retinal hemorrhage. He asked the patient, "Were you doing any heavy lifting or anything strenuous when it occurred?" The guy's response: "I was lifting a flat screen tv and jumping over a fence."