The dispersion

Once upon a time there was a mostly all-bellied pregnant lady.

One day the mostly all-bellied pregnant lady had two babies.

Her belly fat held an emergency meeting.

"Remember what happened last time????" they cried.

"We were nearly all driven to extinction! Well, not this time!!!!"

"The majority of you will remain here and build fortresses and walls and whatever it takes to hold firm (ahem, perhaps firm is the wrong choice of word). And stand your ground!"

"The rest of you.... RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!"

So they ran. To her butt. And her hips. Some formed crevices in her back and took shelter. Others ran north to her upper arms and her face. Some went to her boobs (but the little A-cups didn't mind that so much).

And they would not surrender.

So the once mostly all-bellied pregnant lady was left wondering what the heck happened, why it looked like someone took a frying pan to her belly and went splat!!! And suddenly it was everywhere.

She was ticked.


The end.

4 month status

(Phoenix, Ashton)

The twins are 4 months old today.



- They are now sleeping a consistent 8 hour stretch at night. Why am I still so tired then I wonder? I really still feel somewhat inexplicably tired, but I have some theories. I think it's because one of them is fussy on the falling asleep end and one is usually fussy on the waking up end, so cut some time out for that. Then of course if I want even 30 minutes to get stuff done after the kids are all in bed, cut some more time out for that. Then there's the fact that by 4 or 5am I wake up because my boobs are ready to explode and/or they already have and my bed is soaked. Cut more time out for not sleeping well past that point.



- We attempted to try to fatten up the skinny baby (Phoenix) by giving him rice cereal earlier than the other baby for the last month. A) It didn't work. B) It doesn't make babies sleep any longer.



- Their multiple cross-country plane rides seem to be getting increasingly difficult the older they get.


- Although they do sleep a good stretch, I cannot for the life of me get them to sleep any earlier than 9:30 or 10pm.


- And while the night-time sleep is good, their daytime naps continue to stink. They will only sleep 30 minutes. Doesn't matter how - swaddled, swinging, in their cribs, whatever. But I know they are tired because if after their little catnap I hold them or lay down with them, they will sleep another hour or two. If I don't manage to do this, they get crankier. So I know they're tired. I guess I can try letting them cry it out again, but I know they've cried up to an hour before and still didn't fall back asleep so I'm not sure I'm ready for that again. Cash was like this too. He only slept for 30 minutes at a time, and would then fall asleep again only with me. Except with him, I'd have to nurse him back to sleep and then remain the human pacifier for the next hour and a half. No swapping out the pacifier or naptime was over. At least these two will at least just let me be next to them. But once I'm home and have no one else to hold baby #2 I'm not sure what will happen. Lots of crying, probably.


- Cash has possibly made a peace offering with the babies. One time he actually tried to feed them a graham cracker, and one other time he handed them toys. Big steps. Although, that's still only two gestures in 4 months. Fine with me though. At least I can leave him in the same room with the babies and know he won't go anywhere near them.

- And yes, for what it's worth, I'm still nursing them.

Another Miami Welcome

Ryan made it to Miami last week. He said that his first time at church there, every talk and every meeting was on hurricane preparedness. And he found out that hurricane season is from June 1st to November 30th. Great. I'll only have to live in fear for my life half of every entire flipping year.

If I had a million dollars...

I've been having a lot of if I had... moments lately.

* If I had a month to myself. This one has come about as I've been thinking about Ryan being by himself in Miami for the next month. Granted, I know he'll be working and studying like crazy. But I was thinking that hmm, if I had a month to myself I could sleep and sleep and sleep. And then I could wake up for a few hours and go to the gym so I would be back in shape by the end of my month. And then I'd go back to sleep. Maybe I'd spend a day at the dollar theater catching up on all the movies I was too tired to see.

* If I could go back to the college life for a few weeks. I would go to the grocery store and buy dumb stuff like I did back then - wheat thins and cottage cheese, graham crackers and frosting, and maybe some fruit and I would live off of that. I would be so excited that I only spent $30 every time I went to the grocery store. (I think this was in my mind because I saw some college girls buying stuff at the grocery store the other day and I almost had a slight pang of jealousy thinking, you have no idea how good you've got it.) I would revel in the fabulously selfish time I had. I would stay up late going to parties. I would waste time if I felt like it. I would stay up eating ice cream until the clock struck midnight before "Fast Sunday" started because I didn't really know any better (then come home famished when my 9am church was over and stuff my face silly). I would go to the gym when I felt like it, have a lame job where I got to use the computer and flirt with people, sleep when I felt like it, and be responsible for no one else! Aahhhh. All that dating drama that I thought was so encompassing then? Man, that was nothing.

* If I had an allowance. One time a while ago while Ryan and I were discussing finances and how it will be really weird to actually make money one day I asked if when we did make money, if I could have an allowance. My own little money just for me that I didn't have answer to anyone about or justify how I spent it. He said yes. He better live up to that promise because I've taken great satisfaction crafting my list of how my own little allowance would be spent. It includes some of the following:

- Massages. Weekly.
- Buying super stylish clothes that aren't on sale
- Laser hair removal
- Maybe some sessions with a personal trainer
- Pedicures
- Someone to come clean the house while I sit and watch movies.

I'm sure there are many other things too that I can't remember right now. I will say that babysitters are not on this list. They will be on the necessary for survival list, right up there with food and shelter. Maybe I've mentioned this list before, but I'm still up for suggestions. I want to be good and ready when my allowance rolls around.

Fun Weekend

We had a great weekend. We had a birthday party for Cash on Saturday with an alphabet theme, of course. I was actually pretty excited since I've never thrown a birthday party before (we were moving last year). Who knew that the biggest hit would be the "cake walk" type game that actually turned into more of an "ABC run." They played it forever. Who knew I could just put some letters on the ground and entertain Cash for probably the whole summer? I was surprised at how well he got it too.

We also blessed the twins at Ryan's brother's house on Sunday. It was really nice. I love doing it at home surrounded by family.

Identical or what?

Wow. Are these kids identical or what? We finally got to meet Brooke's twins last week and it was totally cracking me up that every picture we tried to take - even if we moved them around or turned the blanket another direction or whatever, turned out with each set of twins doing the exact same thing - even down to arm placement, expression, reactions, etc. And really, there was nothing over to the left where Brooke's kids kept looking. That was just their reaction to everything we tried! I have about 15 pictures that all look as similar as this first one.

Welcome Home

My nephew Zac came home from his mission to Mexico City this week. The twins were all ready to welcome him home.




















It really puts things in perspective when I realize that my nephew, who was gone for two years, has never met any of my children. Was I living in rabbit hutches while he was gone or what?? Who'd have thought that would be me popping out the babies like they're running out up there.

Oh yeah, and I'm in Utah for 6 weeks while Ryan finishes up the move and gets started in Miami. Hoping to enjoy lots of help from family. I've even recruited the 9 year-old nephew. I'll take whatever I can get.

And we think we finally have a place to live. Just got back the contract. Not a moment too soon. Maybe it really was meant to be though - this one is in the same building as before and is two bedrooms - plus a den! Which means it's a smaller room and doesn't have a closet. Good enough!!!!

The great bromance

Bromance: Two dudes who really like to hang out together.

There are some great bromances out there.

Brad and George, for example:

Ben and Matt:

Lance and Matthew:
Tobey and Leonardo:

And then, there are these two:

Yup. Inseparable. Can I say this is the #1 reason I will miss Milwaukee? My son's first (and pretty much only) friend. Cash doesn't take to just anyone, as you've seen, but he gets really attached to a few. Namely Harrison, the next door neighbor.

It's the first time we've ever been in a house, a neighborhood, and ever had neighbors. Like 6 feet away. It's been everything neighbors should be. Borrow stuff, watch each other's kids, talk over the fences to each other, leave the monitor over there while running errands. I will miss it immensely. They, however, are probably hoping for less needy neighbors. :)

I really don't know how I'll tell Cash that there's no more Harrison. It nearly breaks my heart. He wakes up in the morning asking for Harrison! So here's to you boys.

You guys can be our neighbors anytime.

Skinny Jammies

I love seeing my kids in their skinny jammies. I guess I just call them that because my kids are always skinny and never fill our the regular pjs, so I like the ones that hug their skinny little bodies! And even though some of these are blurry, I actually really just loved the progression of the photoshoot.

How refreshing. This actually makes it look like we do have fun around here.

We do.

Good times

We did manage to take a little trip up to Madison over the weekend so we could see it before we leave. Cute little town.

Cash insisted on wearing Ryan's hat the whole time we were at the zoo.

And really, the scenery looked much better without us in the pictures.

A lady here commented that, "Wow, you seem pretty calm for someone moving this weekend. Trips up to Madison....?" Not calm, just avoidant.

Jack of all trades, master of none

I was discussing recently with my sister the fact that I currently can't do anything well. Not anything, but any one thing. I feel like I can only do a little bit of everything, and not do that well.

The babies. Not much time for reading books to them, tummy time, cutting their nails, etc. And all that bonding shmonding stuff? Well, hopefully they can live without it. They've got each other, right?

Cash. Poor kid, I feel like he really gets the brunt of everything right now. It really stinks that these babies are such horrible nappers because I don't really even get that time with him. Any break I get from the babies I just try to get time to feed him. This picture in front of the tv probably tells it all:

Poor kid has had more diaper rashes in the last three months than his whole life combined. Ryan came home around noon the other day and picked Cash up and said, "You smell like urine!" Oh man. I hadn't changed his diaper yet that day. Well, I got two out of the three. At least it was the majority, right?

Ryan. He's growing a serious mullet. Sorry, no time for haircuts. And at least the two of us manage to at least be in the bed at the same time for at least a few hours these days.

Me. I can't even have quality me time. I shower with Cash throwing a tantrum on the bathroom floor and the twins both crying by the time I turn the water off. I apparently have no shame about what I look like in public anymore, although sometimes I realize I should probably care more with all the attention we draw toting our brood around.

My Sunday School class. Got a video for three weeks in a row. Enough said.

The house. We've managed to discover some vibrantly colored new flora in the toilet recently. Perhaps these current pictures of the lawn:

and the sink (no we do not have the drain stopper in):

just say it best.

Sleep. During naptime today I was on a constant rotation between all three kids trying to get them back to sleep. I tried to lay down 7 times inbetween all this and finally gave up.

Meals. We've learned to even be grateful that Ryan can bring home some hospital cafeteria food when we need it.

I swear I used to be pretty with it.

Is this just what motherhood is???