Breathing again, sort of

Wow. Thanks everyone for sharing in our shock and giving so much encouragement! It's been a crazy few days, but having been asked a lot, I'll try to share some more details.

The range of emotions:

- Coming out of the ultrasound room into a full waiting room where it felt like everyone was staring at me, Ryan told the lady behind the desk we just found out we were having twins. She looked at me and said, "Oh wow, she looks a little faint." Quite true, quite true. And shaky. Really bad morning to skip breakfast.

- All the rest of that first day though - couldn't stop laughing. Delerium? Denial? Or just the fact that it really is just nuts!?!?! Not sure. I think it was partly that I was shocked and terrified for Brooke when I heard about hers, so maybe I was past those emotions. My mom started to choke up on the phone and I had to just say "No, mom. I'm not in a crying mood about this - it's just too funny and crazy to me right now!"

- Um, holy cow - I was really scared to have two kids 20 months apart - but now to have three boys under the age of 2?????

- Ryan's feelings? "Boy's rule the house! Boy's rule the house!" "Boy party, boy party!"

- Everyone else's reaction? "Wow, hope you have lots of help." No, actually, we live hundreds of miles from anyone. And next year will be moving thousands of miles from anyone.

Other thoughts:

- When we really stop and think about it, Ryan and I both said that we never would have imagined ourselves as the parents of twins.

- I think it will actually look like a mom and quadruplets - Ryan and Cash are already told they look like twins, I have no reason to think these two will look any different!

- I had already been looking for a double stroller for Cash and the baby - so I asked Ryan, "So do I need a triple stroller now???" Then, "Oh, wait, who am I kidding - I'm not going to be going anywhere."

- FIVE people in a two-bedroom house?!?

- Um, can you fit three car seats in the back of an Xterra?

How am I feeling?

- Justifiably now, at least twice as bad as I ever felt while pregnant with Cash. Way more nausea, lots of headaches, and serious back problems. Luckily they are all feeling much better currently.

How do they know the twins are identical?

- Well, that's what the ultrasound tech said based on the fact that there are two sacs and only one placenta. That is the most common scenario. Although I have read that fraternal twins could have a placenta that is fused and just looks like one. So there is still a possiblity that they're not identical, but so far it's most likely that they are. But it is very good that they have separate sacs - much less risky.

- The other funny thing is that of all types of twins, identical boys is the least common. Pretty funny that Brooke and I both managed it! And no, neither of us was on any kind of fertility treatment. Besides, I think Clomid and stuff only increases the likelihood of fraternal twins, it doesn't increase the chance of a zygote splitting into two. And neither of us knew until our 20 week ultrasounds!

Do twins run in the family?

- Didn't really think so, but actually there are a few on my side. But as it turns out, heredity is more a factor in non-identical twins. Identical just seems to be more of a freak occurence.

Did we jinx ourselves?

- Probably. Ryan and I used to joke around that we really wanted twins so we could exploit them - commercials, print ads, the next Mary Kate and Ashley.... Then we had one. And we fully admitted to ourselves then that wow, after having one - there's no way we'd ever want twins.

- When Ryan found out Brooke was having twins, all he could do was shake his head and say, "Twice the poop, twice the poop." Well, as Brooke points out, for us already having one in daipers, that's three times the poop, three times the poop.

Why we're pretty lucky:

- You know how you don't realize until you look back on your life that God really knew what He was doing with you far better than you did? Well, we couldn't be in a better place right now - good thing for us we decided to move to Milwaukee just to have an easy year for Ryan. If he was like most first year medical residents working 80+ hours a week, I would really die.

- We already had a really hard baby. Didn't think anything good would come of having gone through that experience long-term, really, besides the fact of feeling triumphant that I actually got through it, but seriously, I feel much better prepared for handling a twins. After one colicky, non-sleeping baby, two isn't quite as daunting (I'm not kidding myself though, it's still going to be ROUGH!)

- Having been such a hard baby, Cash is now an angelic toddler. Seriously, I couldn't ask for a better child to have around while trying to deal with twin babies. He is so chill and mellow, and entertains himself really well.

Anyway, we're excited (and still terrified, of course). I guess this is what I get for being the girl that loves surprises - although I'm always the surpriser, not the one being surprised! And the twins must have been in on the whole thing - I had hardly felt a peep from them before. Now that the secret's out - they're definitely starting to make their presence known!

And look - our first present came in the mail today! My sister is Julie is so on top of it!!