Yes, this was actually on my bucket list

Laugh if you will, but on my list of things to do before I leave Miami was to actually hit the Miami club scene.  See, the thing is if you go visit New York or Chicago, people will tell you - oh, go visit this museum, go up this tall building and check out the view of the city, go eat this food here....  BUT.  If you visit Miami, people will tell you - oh, go to this lounge here, go get drinks at this spot here, go to this club after whatever event you're going to....  It's just what Miami is for.  Beaches and nightlife.  There is no interest in going to the "city." People don't go to the city at night or on the weekends.  After every work event here, everyone from Ryan's work hits up a club or a lounge of some sort. Drug reps and attending docs sponsor these kind of things. So really, when my friends were coming in town and I tried to ask people what to do, it was exactly what everyone told me - go get drinks here, go get drinks at this other place, blah, blah, blah. Well, I don't drink, but I do like a little excitement and I do like a little dance action.  And I did want to see what all these places in magazines where the celebrities were always spotted here were really like.

So I did.

And in my mind, it was go big, or go home.  So I thought of the one I'd seen cited as the celebrity hotspot the most - and the one where the Miami Heat went after winning the championship last year.  LIV, in the famed Fountainbleu Hotel.  For most people, this would not be a big deal, it would be their average weekend.  For two Mormon moms in a minivan who own no salacious-looking frocks, it was a little intimidating.

I started my research on getting in these places and was even more intimidated.  It could actually be possible we might not get in.  I started seeing comments of people online that hadn't gotten in.  I remembered a few years ago when I had this idea in my head before and asked a girl I knew about where to go. She told me that her friend was a club promoter and he could get us in.  Then she hesitated and asked, "Wait, are your friends hot?"  "Yes," I said, they're all good-looking. Then I realized the dilemma...wait, Mormon cute is waaaay different than Miami hot.  I don't think a bunch of girls in their cutest jeans and blazers is what they had in mind. And I had retreated the idea at the time.  Now I was facing it again, and remembered that her next statement had alluded to the fact that she'd been with groups before where not everyone got in.  That's right, it's like hot or not, in or out, right there at the club doorway.  That could be awkward. And that could be me, even wearing my Old Navy finest.

But in order to not chicken out, the plans were made that I would meet my friend inside the airport with cocktail dresses in hand.  Our best bet was to go dressy since we definitely wouldn't be going looking skanky or uber-exposed.  Her plane got in around 11pm - perfect since these places, to my surprise, don't even open until 11pm at the earliest. That's right, and they may close anywhere from 5am to noon the next day.  Wow.

So I went in to the airport ... to find my friend five months pregnant.  Surprise!  Getting back at me for all the surprises I've pulled with pregnancies, she took advantage of the length of time it's been since we've seen each other.  How exciting.  But... wait... did my already slim chance of getting into a club in Miami just vanish?  Does a 5-month pregnant lady totally kill your mojo??

Strategically placed clutch over the belly, I instructed, unsure, but clinging to hope.

And as designed, we went ahead with the plan, hit up the airport bathroom and came out looking as hot as we knew how.  And pregnantly knew how.

We made it to the parking lot outside the hotel.  We sat, trying to chicken out as we watched miniskirts and cleavage walk past our car.  But we finally told ourselves we had to make something of the fact that we were in Miami Beach in cocktail attire at 1am, and got out of the car.  Within 15 seconds we hear, "Dang, you ladies look gooood."  What?  Did that just happen? Did we seriously elicit that comment after just exiting our minivan and making sure there were no kid boogers clinging to us from the seats? That hasn't happened in like 15 years!  Woot!

Our confidence enhanced, we walked in and were greeted by two nice mid-western guys in town for a conference.  They told us of the hedge fund conference they were putting on, and pointed out the lead singer from Blues Traveler who was also there in the lobby. (They'd paid $50,000 to have them perform the first hour LIV was open to entertain their old hedge fund men who had apparently been miffed to have some "unknown" Cee-Lo Green perform the previous year.)  The guys wondered if they'd be able to get us in free with their conference, but came back dejected a few minutes later that not even they themselves could get back in anymore. :)  Once the club gets hopping in the later hours, apparently the selectiveness begins.  We saw a guy that worked there and asked him how much the cover charge was to get in to the club.  He said $40-60.  Hmm, sounded code for a floating charge depending on your level of hotness.  Well, we decided to press our luck and made our way to the roped off entrance with the large and unfriendly men in front.

No sooner had we got in line then we hear a, "Have you ladies been in yet?" from behind.  No, we reply. To which a nice Italian man responded by motioning us to follow him to the VIP line.  Yep, don't ask any questions and do what you're told.  Sweet.  In through the VIP line, free of charge. Perfect.

He took us in and ushered us over to the bar to buy us drinks.  At which point, upon inquiry Brooke requests a water.  Yep, water. In response to a head-shaking, did-I-just-hear-that-right? quizzical look, I burst out, "She's pregnant!" realizing, hey, this whole pregnant thing may actually come in handy.  He notices and excitedly acknowledges the growing belly, which hadn't been obvious before.  But then he turns to me, happy that I'll at least be able to drink with him, to which I give a somewhat sheepish grin and a "Diet Coke?"  Of course he's dying at this and trying to persuade me otherwise when he stops abruptly and says, "Are you married?"  Well, at least we've got those two factors out of the way in the first five minutes and after he'd gotten us in for free.  And at least he was impressed with me for looking decent after 4 kids.  We still had a nice chat, Brooke spoke some Italian with him, he took us out on the dance floor and then said, "Ok, I leave."  Man, could that have been better?  Got in free, didn't have to sell my soul to do it or pretend to do shots while tossing them out over my shoulder... and we didn't have to spend the whole night awkwardly hanging out with the guy. Besides I got a free Diet Coke that I'm sure was $10.  He even told us we could use his name and come in and spend money on his tab whenever we wanted.  Too bad I didn't actually catch his name....

Well, I can tell you, LIV did not disappoint.  As far as coolness, it was fantastic.  Best decor, lighting, cool effects, fun music.  Interactive, happy (ok, probably stoned) DJs and good music with a mix of house, some cool old stuff and new stuff - all remixed to be great dance music.  Confetti, glow sticks, smoke machines combined with cool lighting...you name it. Of course there was a lot of turning down offers to come drink with guys or join a table of dirty old men, but some nice Mexicans made room for us to come dance on the couches with them for a while, and after we had established ourselves firmly on the dance floor people seemed to get the idea we were just there to dance and we didn't have to keep rejecting offers nearly as much.  I'll tell you though, if you want a self-esteem boost, go hit up a club (make sure you have no males with you), and set yourself (in dim lighting) around a bunch of (drunk) men who want you to come party with them.  You'll feel like a hot commodity.

  

And wow, someone let the hedge fund manager out of the office. This guy was the nerdiest of nerds dancing up on the table endlessly in completely arrhythmic fashion. He actually looked ridiculously like an airport controller with the way he was dancing and those glow sticks in both hands....

He was one of the more entertaining characters of the evening, although they were many.

But really, it was so eye-opening to see that there is this whole other world that has been going on in Miami every night ... while I'm asleep!  I mean, this was a random Thursday night in February, and it was hopping out there and we didn't get in until 4am!  How do people live like this? How do people do this night after night? How do they all show up for work the next day?? How do they have such a large array of clothing that covers so little?!  I was hungover (as in just exhausted and couldn't catch up) for days.  What a strange subculture I never knew existed.



As a post-script, we actually even hit up two more clubs when our other friend got in town, both of which we got into, and neither of which we had to pay for (luckily I don't think it was a real busy time of year so there wasn't too much unnatural selection going on).  Neither of them surpassed the coolness of LIV though.  Just let me know if you see us in US Weekly anytime soon.

Keys

In January we also went camping down in the Keys.  We took a glass-bottom boat tour - also on my bucket list (and probably slightly over-rated, luckily we had a Groupon for it).

 

But then you realize that you're glad you got a good deal and didn't spend a ton of money on it because your kids end up leaning over the rails that over look the glass bottom like this:

Or like this....

Or end up like this... 

Yeah, all that lapping water seemed to get to them before we ever even got out to the reef.  Glad we paid money and it was such an educational experience for them. :)

But it was still fun when people were awake.

How about these houses that you can just see all the way through to the Atlantic ocean?

Or this little gem seriously situated out in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

I could totally live there. 

Here was the view from our campsite at Bahia Honda, somewhere down in the middle of the Florida Keys. 

And we survived!  I was nervous because this was our first camping trip with all of the kids.  We're not brave enough to camp with a baby. But it worked out well. And everyone slept... well, except me, of course.

The Keys are so unique that it's just so narrow down there - and especially the way our Key jutted out in the ocean. Ryan pointed out, there aren't many places you can watch the sun both rise and set from the same place.  

We went with our friends the Finlinsons and some of their friends - I realized I hardly have any pictures of them, but they're the silhouettes on the left.  :)

The old railroad (?) bridge.  Looks like it's ready for a scene out of a movie.

Attempting to feed the giant tarpon that jump out of the water to get the fish.  As you can see Cash was about to succeed at getting nipped by a giant bird through the fence instead.

Eating at this picturesque little restaurant with friends....

Wow, that looks like a really low ratio of adults to kids at that table.  :)

Good times.  Living it up while the winter lasts.

Check marks on the bucket list

Since we stayed here over the holidays I was determined that I get some of my bucket list items checked off (bucket list being currently in urgent mode seeing as we've hardly done anything in our 4 1/2 years here and we only have 6 months to go).  The second driving factor is that I forget that in a few months I will be cursing the weather and the hot mess I call hair and not want to leave the house to do anything but get in the pool that only requires about 10 steps of effort out my back door.

So over New Year's we met up with some friends (I should call them Our Friends - as in like basically one of the few and far between that actually do anything with us!  So sad they moved).  We did the west side of Florida.  Oh my.  Why didn't I go there before?  Except that then I would want to spend all my money on beach houses going there again and again, and we may have never had our Disney adventures. We went to Naples, Ft. Myers Beach, Sannibel Island, Lovers Key and Marco Island.  BEAUTIFUL sugar-sand beaches, great shelling, and beautiful (almost cool!) weather.  Totally changed my mind about Florida.  I loved it over there. They had the BEST beach houses right on the ocean front.  Sadly, as a last minute idea they were all booked for our trip.  If I was staying here longer I would definitely go oceanfront and splurge on a big ol' beach house with a fire pit overlooking the gulf coast sunsets...

 

Check out this awesome sandcastle!  (Not our doing).  And all the detail!  So cool.

Snowman, Florida style.

Oh look!  There were Other Friends. 

Front row seats for the sunset.  Every night we were there people literally clapped when the sun finally went down.  It cracked us up every time.  Way to go, sun.  Nice show.  Good job on another hard day's work.

Hurray for the New Year!!

It turned out very fitting that we literally watched the sun set on 2012.

And I love the self-taken picture of the dirty, chubby baby feet.

  

    

It was really the most perfect trip we've been on.  We realized that camping with 4 kids = lots of work.  Disneyworld with 4 kids = lots of work.  Beach with 4 kids = actually a relaxing vacation.  We've never been beachy people.  Ryan and I would take the streets of Italy or New York over the Bahamas any day. But now I can see why people are.